How to Love A Scorpio {And Not Get Stung}

I'm what you might call a "triple threat".

My Sun, Moon and rising signs are all in the water element. That creates a strong, emotional nature with extreme sensitivity at times. It also gives me a hard outer shell (scorpion and crab bodies), with a soft and vulnerable inside. Let's put it this way, it is hard to even write this article because it feels like I'm "revealing" a lot about my self. That's overwhelming and, yes, extremely vulnerable for my Scorpion/Crab nature. The tough outer shell of these creatures makes me seem strong to others, but on the inside, I'm softer and more sensitive than you can imagine. It's a tough dynamic to navigate at times!

In the Vedic system of astrology, my Rising and my Moon sign are in Scorpio, while my Sun sign is Cancer. I consider myself a veritable expert on all things water sign, especially in the Scorpio realms. I've been living it and breathing it for over thirty years and have danced with the extremes of the Scorpio nature, tested its limits and fallen into many a murky and dark abyss. And yes, I've stung, been stung, and stung my Self. Repeatedly. The symbol of a Scorpion is not lost on me.

I'm also less and less afraid of the darkness that is part of Scorpios nature as time rolls on. Time, as it turns out, can bring some relief to those of us navigating the unknown territory of the 8th house on a daily basis (as a Scorpio knows innately). Scorpio directly correlates to all 8th house matters. It's the house of death, our greatest fears, loss, disease and those things that we avoid most because of certain pain and misery. It is associated with vulnerabilities, the past and the future, sex, mysticism, the private parts and excretory organs. Before you say, "ew", think about how important, how vital, all these parts of our life are. The letting go, the release of the known, the surrender of past and present, the depths of life that go way beyond the surface of life. It's a house that can not (and should not) be avoided.

On the positive spectrum of things, the 8th house is linked to transformations and transcendece, as well as mystical and occult knowledge and of course our sexual nature. When life gets tough, we naturally get tougher; which is the essence of the eighth house. It forces us to surrender. To disarm and let go. We scream "uncle!" at the top of our lungs and wait in our self made prison for relief to arrive. And if it arrives, we are determined to change, re-direct ourselves, to rise above and out of the trenches. The eight house is indeed hidden, unseen, and thus relates to the unseen and hidden realms- both internally and externally. Our pain after all is solely connected to our shadow. A Scorpio is determined to shed its shadowed self which is why Ketu (the "planet" of liberation and moksha) is considered exalted here.

All Scorpios understand more than the surface of life- which is both a blessing and a curse at times. The depth of our understanding is what liberates us and also what hurts us the most. When others are enjoying life and its frivolities, a Scorpio is likely at home working hard to overcome some obstacle- self created or not. And isn't everything self created? A Scorpio thinks so, but more importantly, we know so. And when you know better, and you know you should know better, well, that's when trouble can arise. This is when the self stinging can escalate. This is when addictions can happen- as a means to numb the pain, stop the self inflicted tendencies, or as an escape route. But most of us figure out at some point that addiction to drugs and alcohol are yet another self affliction mechanism, and so we must end this too and overcome this trap as well.

After getting out of the addiction and dependency cycles, we realize we are back where we started (not a highlight of our existence!) Back with the pain, the torture, the endless emotional upheavals, the intense passion- passion that the majority of the world would gladly have a bit more of if they could tap into it and harness it for their own purposes. We live it. We breathe it. And learning to handle this level of passion takes strength and perseverance. It must be channeled effectively or it will burn us. It's also the main reason we are so misunderstood by the other signs, and why we doubt ourselves as a result. Our innate, passionate nature can make us wonder if there is something wrong with ourselves? Well, is there? This level of passion is due to the planetary ruler of Scorpio, Mars. A fiery planet, the warrior, the planet of action (karma), Mars is a doer. He does things with courage and power and he doesn't think about it. Oops. (The thinking planet is Mercury and not surprisingly, Mars and Mercury aren't friendly towards each other).

The tell tale sign of Scorpios infamous "moodiness" is the fact that Moon (planet of emotions and our inner nature) is considered debilitated in Scorpio. That makes for an intensified, gooey center for this sign. One that I am all too aware of since my own natal Moon is in Scorpio. (This is where my expertise comes in! And also, please don't judge this placement in black and white terms and with labels!) It also indicates the level of sensitivity that a Scorpio has (and needs) in order to understand the depth of its own nature. If we didn't have the depth of the 8th house, the ability to navigate the darkness within us and around us, nor the sensitivity to traverse the heightened perceptions necessary to go beyond the mundane, well, we'd be..... an earth sign. Like Taurus, our polar opposite. Which we are attracted to by the way. Isn't the grounding and the stability appealing? Even if we claim to be repulsed by it, there is an attraction/repulsion dynamic here that, as a Scorpio, believe me, I've investigated! And we all need stability and support, perhaps a Scorpio more so than the other signs, and that is why our opposite, our mirror, is indeed the Taurus.

It's tricky to be a Scorpio. It's tricky to love a Scorpio. You really have to want to love us. You can't do it half assed. We'll get rid of you quickly and we will know if you aren't trying very hard; a very unappealing trait for a Scorpio! We have no patience for uncertainty and a zero tolerance policy on lying, cheating, stealing and the like. And if we even sense that these things are occurring, you'll be cut loose. Quickly and stealthily. We plot, carefully, before the final decision (or execution) is made. And when we are sure, for certain, we don't go back. Done is done. If any sign knows finality, it is the dear Scorpio. (Eighth house of death, hello!) As I write this, I give a little Scorpio snicker, thinking about how scary this might sound to others. How lethal and how daunting. Is there any reason why anyone would even take a chance on such a person? You might even think that Scorpios deserve the bad rap that is all- pervasive in the astrological realms.

It may seem as though we should be wrapped blatantly in caution tape, but don't be so quick to jump to conclusions. Mystery has its greatness. The depth of the Scorpio nature will be a reward to anyone who takes the time and effort to love us, and love us well. Make no mistake about it. We are thorough (understatement) and this carries over into everything we do, especially our relationships. All we ask for is loyalty and trust. In a Scorpios eyes, that is not a tall order. It's basic. It's simple. You do it and you are in for life. You fail and you are out- fast.

Here's how to win us over and stay a winner:

1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

2. Consistency and follow through. Consistency and follow through. Consistency and follow through.

3. Speak the sweet truth. (Emphasis on sweet).

4. Dare to be different. Be unique. Stand on your own terms. Share authentically. (It's tres hot by the way.) And we can tell when you're not ligit 100% of the time.

5. Be kind. Be compassionate. Always.

6. Don't play games. Don't. You will never win with a Scorpio.

7. Sting and be stung. We can sense manipulation a mile away. Don't try that with us.

8. Loyalty. Which means you must be true to your Self first, above all, then you can be true and loyal to a Scorpio.

9. Communicate and share your feelings. You clamp down, you get tossed. You must be open to personal growth and actively engaged in it. It takes a lot to keep up with our constant transformations.

10. Stick around long enough and you will experience the depth of love and the sweetness of true partnership. But this will take time. Have patience.

No one can beat the intensity and passion of a Scorpio. And when we bring it, we bring it on strong. We also like to share our passion, love and gifts with others (if we trust you!) This may mean a very small circle of friends for a Scorpio. In fact, it may look like a Scorpio has many friends, but in fact if you asked them, they'd respond that they have just one or two close friends only. Looks can be deceiving. How Scorpio of us.

Small and comforting is ok with us. As long as that small circle of support is the real deal. Not many people will be brave enough to stand in the dark abyss with us. Nor withstand the constant transformations and recreation processes that we go through. It takes a very special person to be comfortable with darkness, depth, emotion, passion, mysticism and the fire of the Scorpio nature. Like with anything in life, the effort you put in, directly correlates to what you get out of the experience. You'll have to put in quite a bit of effort and be willing to grow within your self as part of the deal, but the rewards will outlast the sweat and tears. It will be well worth your time and energy. Guaranteed.

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