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How to Love A Scorpio {And Not Get Stung}

5/22/2014

33 Comments

 
I'm what you might call a "triple threat".

My Sun, Moon and rising signs are all in the water element. That creates a strong, emotional nature with extreme sensitivity at times. It also gives me a hard outer shell (scorpion and crab bodies), with a soft and vulnerable inside. Let's put it this way, it is hard to even write this article because it feels like I'm "revealing" a lot about my self. That's overwhelming and, yes, extremely vulnerable for my Scorpion/Crab nature. The tough outer shell of these creatures makes me seem strong to others, but on the inside, I'm softer and more sensitive than you can imagine. It's a tough dynamic to navigate at times!

In the Vedic system of astrology, my Rising and my Moon sign are in Scorpio, while my Sun sign is Cancer. I consider myself a veritable expert on all things water sign, especially in the Scorpio realms. I've been living it and breathing it for over thirty years and have danced with the extremes of the Scorpio nature, tested its limits and fallen into many a murky and dark abyss. And yes, I've stung, been stung, and stung my Self. Repeatedly. The symbol of a Scorpion is not lost on me.

I'm also less and less afraid of the darkness that is part of Scorpios nature as time rolls on. Time, as it turns out, can bring some relief to those of us navigating the unknown territory of the 8th house on a daily basis (as a Scorpio knows innately). Scorpio directly correlates to all 8th house matters. It's the house of death, our greatest fears, loss, disease and those things that we avoid most because of certain pain and misery. It is associated with vulnerabilities, the past and the future, sex, mysticism, the private parts and excretory organs. Before you say, "ew", think about how important, how vital, all these parts of our life are. The letting go, the release of the known, the surrender of past and present, the depths of life that go way beyond the surface of life. It's a house that can not (and should not) be avoided.

On the positive spectrum of things, the 8th house is linked to transformations and transcendece, as well as mystical and occult knowledge and of course our sexual nature. When life gets tough, we naturally get tougher; which is the essence of the eighth house. It forces us to surrender. To disarm and let go. We scream "uncle!" at the top of our lungs and wait in our self made prison for relief to arrive. And if it arrives, we are determined to change, re-direct ourselves, to rise above and out of the trenches. The eight house is indeed hidden, unseen, and thus relates to the unseen and hidden realms- both internally and externally. Our pain after all is solely connected to our shadow. A Scorpio is determined to shed its shadowed self which is why Ketu (the "planet" of liberation and moksha) is considered exalted here.

All Scorpios understand more than the surface of life- which is both a blessing and a curse at times. The depth of our understanding is what liberates us and also what hurts us the most. When others are enjoying life and its frivolities, a Scorpio is likely at home working hard to overcome some obstacle- self created or not. And isn't everything self created? A Scorpio thinks so, but more importantly, we know so. And when you know better, and you know you should know better, well, that's when trouble can arise. This is when the self stinging can escalate. This is when addictions can happen- as a means to numb the pain, stop the self inflicted tendencies, or as an escape route. But most of us figure out at some point that addiction to drugs and alcohol are yet another self affliction mechanism, and so we must end this too and overcome this trap as well.

After getting out of the addiction and dependency cycles, we realize we are back where we started (not a highlight of our existence!) Back with the pain, the torture, the endless emotional upheavals, the intense passion- passion that the majority of the world would gladly have a bit more of if they could tap into it and harness it for their own purposes. We live it. We breathe it. And learning to handle this level of passion takes strength and perseverance. It must be channeled effectively or it will burn us. It's also the main reason we are so misunderstood by the other signs, and why we doubt ourselves as a result. Our innate, passionate nature can make us wonder if there is something wrong with ourselves? Well, is there? This level of passion is due to the planetary ruler of Scorpio, Mars. A fiery planet, the warrior, the planet of action (karma), Mars is a doer. He does things with courage and power and he doesn't think about it. Oops. (The thinking planet is Mercury and not surprisingly, Mars and Mercury aren't friendly towards each other).

The tell tale sign of Scorpios infamous "moodiness" is the fact that Moon (planet of emotions and our inner nature) is considered debilitated in Scorpio. That makes for an intensified, gooey center for this sign. One that I am all too aware of since my own natal Moon is in Scorpio. (This is where my expertise comes in! And also, please don't judge this placement in black and white terms and with labels!) It also indicates the level of sensitivity that a Scorpio has (and needs) in order to understand the depth of its own nature. If we didn't have the depth of the 8th house, the ability to navigate the darkness within us and around us, nor the sensitivity to traverse the heightened perceptions necessary to go beyond the mundane, well, we'd be..... an earth sign. Like Taurus, our polar opposite. Which we are attracted to by the way. Isn't the grounding and the stability appealing? Even if we claim to be repulsed by it, there is an attraction/repulsion dynamic here that, as a Scorpio, believe me, I've investigated! And we all need stability and support, perhaps a Scorpio more so than the other signs, and that is why our opposite, our mirror, is indeed the Taurus.

It's tricky to be a Scorpio. It's tricky to love a Scorpio. You really have to want to love us. You can't do it half assed. We'll get rid of you quickly and we will know if you aren't trying very hard; a very unappealing trait for a Scorpio! We have no patience for uncertainty and a zero tolerance policy on lying, cheating, stealing and the like. And if we even sense that these things are occurring, you'll be cut loose. Quickly and stealthily. We plot, carefully, before the final decision (or execution) is made. And when we are sure, for certain, we don't go back. Done is done. If any sign knows finality, it is the dear Scorpio. (Eighth house of death, hello!) As I write this, I give a little Scorpio snicker, thinking about how scary this might sound to others. How lethal and how daunting. Is there any reason why anyone would even take a chance on such a person? You might even think that Scorpios deserve the bad rap that is all- pervasive in the astrological realms.

It may seem as though we should be wrapped blatantly in caution tape, but don't be so quick to jump to conclusions. Mystery has its greatness. The depth of the Scorpio nature will be a reward to anyone who takes the time and effort to love us, and love us well. Make no mistake about it. We are thorough (understatement) and this carries over into everything we do, especially our relationships. All we ask for is loyalty and trust. In a Scorpios eyes, that is not a tall order. It's basic. It's simple. You do it and you are in for life. You fail and you are out- fast.

Here's how to win us over and stay a winner:

1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

2. Consistency and follow through. Consistency and follow through. Consistency and follow through.

3. Speak the sweet truth. (Emphasis on sweet).

4. Dare to be different. Be unique. Stand on your own terms. Share authentically. (It's tres hot by the way.) And we can tell when you're not ligit 100% of the time.

5. Be kind. Be compassionate. Always.

6. Don't play games. Don't. You will never win with a Scorpio.

7. Sting and be stung. We can sense manipulation a mile away. Don't try that with us.

8. Loyalty. Which means you must be true to your Self first, above all, then you can be true and loyal to a Scorpio.

9. Communicate and share your feelings. You clamp down, you get tossed. You must be open to personal growth and actively engaged in it. It takes a lot to keep up with our constant transformations.

10. Stick around long enough and you will experience the depth of love and the sweetness of true partnership. But this will take time. Have patience.


No one can beat the intensity and passion of a Scorpio. And when we bring it, we bring it on strong. We also like to share
our passion, love and gifts with others (if we trust you!) This may mean a very small circle of friends for a Scorpio. In fact, it may look like a Scorpio has many friends, but in fact if you asked them, they'd respond that they have just one or two close friends only. Looks can be deceiving. How Scorpio of us.

Small and comforting is ok with us. As long as that small circle of support is the real deal. Not many people will be brave enough to stand in the dark abyss with us. Nor withstand the constant transformations and recreation processes that we go through. It takes a very special person to be comfortable with darkness, depth, emotion, passion, mysticism and the fire of the Scorpio nature. Like with anything in life, the effort you put in, directly correlates to what you get out of the experience. You'll have to put in quite a bit of effort and be willing to grow within your self as part of the deal, but the rewards will outlast the sweat and tears. It will be well worth your time and energy.
Guaranteed.

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33 Comments
Sashimi link
5/21/2014 10:18:44 am

wonderfully written, enjoyable read! thanks so much!!

Reply
Swati* link
5/21/2014 10:38:23 am

Glad you enjoyed Sashimi and thank you for your comment!

Reply
Gerry
9/10/2017 05:08:31 pm

I recently met a Scorpio... my first ever Scorpio encounter ..
I fell in love instantly ...I am a cancer...
I went through so much in the 10months that I have known him.... met only 5 times but he makes my soul stir with the depths I had never known..:
He feels like he is always around me...
every touch of him feels like a print on my body and soul...
I have never that kind of power in being close to someone...
I am dying everyday..: but I feel same as I felt the first time... and it completely blows my mind.
I am stripped naked in his presence and absence... my mind and soul are not wearing any masks with him.
I have never felt someone in my gut ... as I wrote I feel him in me... that magical world where I feel safe.. I don't know how to describe..
I don't know how to change it.
I love the pain.. I love him more than I love myself.

Reply
Stacey
6/1/2014 12:46:33 pm

This was so remarkably spot on that I couldn't stop nodding! Made sense and resonated on so many levels. Thank you.

Reply
swati link
6/16/2014 05:51:37 am

Glad it was helpful. Thanks for sharing!

Reply
Laura Plumb link
6/16/2014 03:15:04 am

This is huge. The placement, with all that secrecy and darkness, is so misunderstood. The term "Debilitated Moon" sounds like a curse - and yet every scorpio moon person I know is angelic, sweet, sensitive, compassionate, conscious, honest, authentic, and loving. Thank you SwatiJi for such a thorough and much needed elucidation. You are a great gift to our world.

Reply
Swati link
6/16/2014 05:52:39 am

Thank you for the feedback Laura. I'm so glad the article was meaningful for you and thanks for sharing your experience.

Reply
Yogesh
4/2/2015 01:48:36 pm

Laura its amazing to read what you wrote as that's peeciseky what I felt too. I love swatis writings and her ease with words and the simplicity in which she brings out the complexity .. Am a Scorpio moon and for once am proud of being one

Reply
terry
6/28/2014 02:14:05 am

Thank you for that...It was like ....someone understands what's it's like...I'm not alone! Very very good.

Reply
swati link
7/26/2014 09:44:25 am

Terry, I'm so glad this article was helpful for you. No, you are not alone!!

Reply
Vanessa
8/6/2014 02:28:45 pm

I'm a Leo and have fallen for a Scorpio we are off and on for 4 yrs now. Your read has given me some comfort that perhaps we will stay on. Both our moons are in Aquarius, his rising Aries mine sag :)

Reply
jewlee182
8/7/2014 07:46:09 am

This is tough because Leo and Scorpio and squared signs! As a Scorpio myself, I cannot stand Leos whatsoever. But a glimmer of hope, my boyfriend is an Aquarius! Also squared with Scorpio, and we somehow get along fantastically. I think its more about what you pit into the relationship and how in tune you are with the other person. :)

Reply
jewlee182
8/7/2014 07:43:50 am

As a fellow Scorpio I must say, this is right on the money. I, myself, am a double threat, Scorpio Sun, and Pisces Moon, with Virgo rising. You'd think I was just an OCD Virgo, only to later find out I'm hella sensitive (Pisces Moon = Emotional Antenna, not only do I feel my feelings, I can sense yours) and I pack a wicked Scorpio sting.

Reply
thornysilk
8/7/2014 02:52:10 pm

I'm a triple scorpio riding out a hurricane in hawaii while my sagitarius wife is away for a week… We've been together for ten years now and almost the whole time it's been tumultuous and uneasy for me… loyal? yes. Honest with herself? no. When I think about what I want from love, you hit quite a bit of it. What's your take with scorpio/ sag? I'm struggling big time in the 'feeling understood' department.

Reply
Sulertia
5/12/2020 11:48:40 pm

This post was meant to be written 6 years ago.
I have heavy Pluto energy, Scorpio + 8th house stellium and fell madly in love with Sagittarius stellium with strong Uranus aspects.
There were things that worked such as passion, sexuality, lots of brain stimulation but it had no natural flow. We couldn’t plug our relationship into reality successfully. Sagittarius likes to chase ideas and it changes daily. They can be incredibly charming and intelligent but also pretentious unless they have some water energy in personal chart.

Reply
Sanja
8/7/2014 10:08:30 pm

Hi! Hmmm....I am a Capricorn, but reading this I felt like you have lived in my mind and body since I was born and than wrote this article!! This is ALL about me, spot on,word for word it is ME...except I am not a Scorpio? Any thoughts on this??:) It very well written, so in tune with the nature and feelings of persons like this...thank you...It made me feel relief and acceptance.

Reply
Susan
8/9/2014 06:04:54 am

Sanja, you could have Scorpio Ascendant or strong 8th house placements in your chart.

Reply
Swati link
9/11/2014 02:50:57 pm

Are you referring to your Jyotish chart or a Western chart? Your sensitivity can show up in multiple ways. I'm just publishing my "sensitivity in the jyotish chart" article which may explain a bit more about why you identify with this article. stay tuned. ;)

Reply
Bushra link
8/9/2014 09:40:56 pm

You nailed it love...I wanted someone from somewhere in some form to give words to express what I am all about, and here it is...can't be better:-) Most of the times being mis-understood, and mis-interpreted makes me feel 'Something really may be wrong with me', but again this is a reminder to continue to be me:-) - with all the traits of a Scorpio..come one we stand for authenticity at its genuinity. And yes, it takes a very very special and powerful person to know us, see through us, and understand the love behind our anger! Hope you dont mind me using this to introduce what I am specifically:-)

Keep writing, and a biiiiiiig hug!

Reply
swati
9/11/2014 02:51:44 pm

Glad it helped Bushra! Be well!

Reply
Mike
8/9/2014 11:13:10 pm

Sun & mars in Scorpio rising. Moon in 8th... Sigh!

Reply
swati
9/11/2014 02:52:05 pm

Le sigh. ;)

Reply
Claire
9/13/2014 09:14:55 pm

Hi
I'm sun, Mercury, mars, Pluto, lilith all in virgo. Moon & Saturn in Taurus. Venus, Jupiter & Neptune in scorpio. Uranus libra, asc node Pisces.
I have been dating a guy for 3 months who has :
Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, mars & Uranus all in scorpio, Jupiter & lilith in Leo, Saturn & asc node in virgo, Neptune in sag and Pluto in libra.

Sometimes he is so into me and other times not, and I'm the same. It runs between feeling really powerful and then nothing at all and I could end it tomorrow. It's early days but such a slow burner and I have been always used to full on passion and love and this I have no clue on, not just from him but from me to, it's very confusing!

Reply
Sheri
2/13/2015 12:23:24 am

Im a Taurus who fell head over heals in love with a Scorpio. From day one he was telling lies about his past relationships. Everyone else was a manipulator, he was always the victim. As it turns out he was so insecure and jealous that no matter how much I loved him and told him so he would never believe me. He would drink too much and be emotionally abusive. He was never honest and played head games constantly. His abusive behaviour and complete denial of it was a deal breaker. He would be set off by the smallest thing and had such explosive anger. Would say he was not yelling while yelling and state that he was passionate. You are right about the darkness of this sign, I tried to get him to seek help in finding healthier coping mechanisms to deal with emotions but he said he wasn't ready. He always had make everything about blame, he would twist and turn everything around on me, deny and deflect. I tried to love this Scorpio yet he made it impossible and made everything difficult. Looked for problems, created them when they didn't exist.
It's been a gut wrenching experience. The intensity was like nothing else, I've been stung so bad that I will never be with another Scorpio.

Reply
Nancy
3/26/2015 07:35:02 am

Couldn't believe how spot on this is!!! I'm sharing with my friends and hubby to be so they can have some insight!! Lol thank you so much!! Bright Blessings!!

Reply
Yogesh
4/2/2015 01:50:10 pm

Am a Scorpio moon/ Pisces rising and Virgo sun..completely agree with Swati and it takes a challenge to love the Scorpio but it's a wise investment so to say

Reply
Sash
2/23/2017 12:28:32 pm

I have a Scorpio stellium in Vedic or sidereal. Venus mercury neptune and uranus. This resonated with me in a very precise way at different levels. Sometimes I feel like the kind of love (if we can give it a name) I want or desire is something impossible to attain humanly. The delicacy the other worldliness of it is something most people don't understand. I also have Lilith in Scorpio so my inner Goddess wants out, which most men cannot handle.

Reply
Kate Will
11/16/2017 09:55:26 am

Swati: So glad I read this! So helpful for self insight!
As a Scorpio ascendant, coming into greater Jyotish knowledge is like receiving a balm for my inner sensitivity!

Reply
Tricia
11/16/2017 11:27:44 am

Scorpio snicker! Love it! I am Cancer Rising, Scorpio Sun and Capricorn Moon and I give thanks every darn day for the Capricorn Emotional anchor in my chart! I often warn people now... I am Scorpio/ and I do sting when needed and please don’t take that as a challenge 😉!

Reply
naveen
12/29/2017 03:12:39 am

I have a capricorn sun and a scorpio moon and recently fell for a virgo. but virgo is an unemotional sign and does not understand the intense cycles of emotions i undergo and ultimately takes such episodes as a form of some psychotic disease. recently we broke up .....she has been giving me the silent treatment which I could predict about her. I am immune to it now but still somewhere inside i feel resentment. she recently had a fracture. i wish i could talk to her but i refuse to...i think capricorn sun and scorpio moon is a very tough placement to have but equally rewarding.

Reply
Oren Maneha
12/13/2018 07:29:48 pm

This spoke to me more than any other Scorpio article. I am a true Scorpio moon in the sense that I am a Scorpio in both western and vedic astrologies, although I choose to only follow vedic astrology. I am a Leo rising, Pisces sun, Scorpio moon, Aries Mars personality so I can be very fiery, watery, passionate and I take pride in that. My mother especially has the hardest time understanding where I come from as well as many others and for this exact reason. I felt like you were writing the things of my soul, and I don't even know you, but that's how I know how real this is. If somebody who doesn't even know me personally can know the beauty of my own deepest depths and how I operate, there is no doubt just to how real astrology is. It's helped to heal me and free me in terms of inderstanding my own deep and confusing ways, and it's funny because once we are understood, it's quite simple. We're are fiercely loving, and loyal people who don't like to be crossed because we feel things on a deeper level. It's nothing to be scared of at all, and once understood, stands as one of the most beautiful pieces of understanding this world could be blesses with, if the world would take it's time to slow down and see the beauty, smell the roses. But people are too busy rushing and judging and it's sad because in the end, it's just them that's missing out, and that's on THEM! Much love everyone!

Reply
mara link
4/19/2020 12:08:15 pm

I have venus, mercury, saturn and sun in vedic scorpio.. I have to say that i hate and love my chart, it is too intense, too painful, too sweet. I always feel it s too much, there are too many emotions, insights, thoughts.. I feel like i get downloads and updates all the time from some other worlds.. I just want to stay grounded and feel stability, but i guess it s not gonna happen, cause i have the scorpio curse

Reply
W
6/15/2020 03:15:28 am

I'm Leo sun scorpio moon aquaries ascendant first of all I never believe in this things but there is some circumstance today I believe. I always afraid to fall in love. I pretend to be a rough-tough person. But suddenly there is entry of Aries sun, scorpio moon. firstly I'd ignore. But relatively fall in love. I perpose her for friendship. She blocked me. After all of this things I am just suffering. I scream everyday on top of my lungs. Repentance on my karmas. Realizing why do i sting myself so badly. This scorpio moon is not good.. it's such a painful. Sometimes I hate this.

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