Saraswati Dharma Coaching
  • Home
  • About Swati
  • Dharma Blog
  • Why Jyotish Astrology?
  • Privacy Policy

The Vulnerability of Your Grief + Tapping Meditation

9/16/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture

Last night I spoke at the Grief Support Network in Boulder, Colorado. I shared parts of my grief journey that I've never shared before- the lack of community support and understanding I've received, as well as the physical challenges and limitations that resulted from my grief.

Standing in front of an entire room of people, sharing some of my most vulnerable experiences with loss, was a powerful reminder for me. A reminder of how to ride my emotional edge as well as honor my vulnerability and my grief.

How can I connect and share? Feel connected with others? Even when navigating my vulnerable inner terrain, my story of loss and trauma?

I've resisted my vulnerability for so long. I've resisted sharing anything about my grief. It hasn't felt safe to share my feelings and needs with others. Consequently, I haven't been getting my needs met very well. Read more about how to get your needs met.
 
In fact, recently, I've realized just how few of my needs are actually being met.

How much I've been living in a place that is more about survival than actually thriving. I've been feeling the impact of this on all levels of my life- especially in my relationships, money, and my ability to play and have fun. I've been stuck in the story of just getting my basic needs met- like food, clothing, shelter, making it through the day to day existence stuff. This is very much connected to living with my grief. In fact, simplicity has been crucial to regaining a sense of inner stability, to returning to life.

But as I return to life once again, I'm realizing that living in survival, with only my basic needs being met, is leaving me with little else. With very little affirmation and reassurance from others. Getting only a basic level of support from my relationships. Not enjoying playfulness, fun, ease and time away from work. From the outside, it might look like I'm getting all my needs met. But inside, I've been feeling a growing dissatisfaction with my life.

Disappointment, resentment, fear, discouragement, anger, sadness, hostility, feelings of withdrawing or lashing out- are all signs that specific needs are not being met.


Yes, your emotional body is the barometer of your needs. 

My grief journey has cracked me wide open. There's nothing like loss to awaken all the places within you that are unattended to, that lack nourishment and holding. The nature of grief is a process of release, letting go, endings. Holes arrive- in all layers of your life. Deep, painful wounds begin to surface, showing themselves in ways that have long gone unnoticed. Grief brings your pain, darkness and shadow to the light, to the surface.


As I shared with the Grief Support Network last night, there were two basic needs that were not met for me during my early grief process. Needs that became painfully clear during my grief. What came to light was the lack of support, holding, and structure that was missing in my life. Without a safe container- inside and out- there's no safety, no stability, and no baseline for growth and nourishment. It is a basic need. I had multiple challenges within my own physical body support systems. I also was forced to recognize that the support systems I had in place on the outside, were not able to meet me or hold me in my deepest pain. I was left feeling completely isolated, alone and ungrounded.

From a jyotish perspective, this baseline structure in life is shown through Saturn. He is your inner support system- like the skeleton, bones, the physical body. Saturn can also show you what type of outer structure and support is available to you. He is also the indicator of your grief. Everyone has grief because everyone has a Saturn. Wondering how grief touches your life? Look at Saturn in your jyotish chart.

Grief is your vulnerability.

It is the part of your life that has no answers, no solutions, no way to be repaired. It is the territory of loss and the process of letting go. This place is fragile- like a seed still incubating in the ground, waiting to burst forth. It is a transitional point, a time of change. The grief journey is a process of awakening- if we use it as such.

My own grief has been my biggest teacher in this life. It has been teaching me the fallacy of healing. I've been awakening to the realization that there is in fact nothing to fix or change within me. My grief has taught me about building a relationship with my vulnerability, my pain and discomfort, rather than resisting it or avoiding it.

Death has been such an intimate part of my existence. I've been reluctant and resistant to honor that reality. I loathe it in fact, but I can no longer deny this truth. Walking a path of life long grief, being forced to re-visit trauma and losses now several times over, has forced me to return to this place of vulnerability again and again.

This vulnerability is the wisdom of the 8th house of  your jyotish chart.

It is the house of vulnerability, that which you most fear and would rather not look at. It is your grief, pain, darkness and shadow. It is also your transformation and transcendence. It is your grief journey. To more deeply understand your relationship with grief and vulnerability, study the 8th house of your jyotish chart. Right now, Saturn is moving through Scorpio by transit, provoking these themes quite literally. The impact on everyone right now is very important. Read more about Saturn in Scorpio

As a human, your natural tendency is to resist your vulnerability. It isn't comfortable, so why move closer to it? Yet, leaning into the places that feels discomfort, can be extremely powerful and transformational. Leaning into your grief is the medicine for life.

The theme of this Saturn in Scorpio transit is to deepen your relationship with the emotional body, that most vulnerable inner terrain within you. In fact, to lean into your grief. Moon (your emotional body) is considered debilitated, or fallen, in Scorpio. The Moon wants to express itself, which is why it is considered exalted in Taurus, associated with the second house of speech. Moon in Scorpio, associated with the 8th house, is the most hidden house of the chart, therefor the Moon doesn't get to express itself; it gets lost, suppressed or avoided. The second house is also the mirror of the 8th house, expressing the polarities of inner and outer expression.

My grief continues to teach me about my own relationship with vulnerability- my own resistance, suppression and avoidance of my emotional body. The big waves all the way to the small ripples. The tide pools to the flooding of a high tide. I've also been learning a lot about other peoples resistance to their emotions- mainly as a result of witnessing others' discomfort with mine. And of course I always learn so much from my amazing clients- tracking their stories with grief, and how foreign this process is to most people.

As a body-centered expressive art therapist. I have been through several therapy programs, been to countless healers and sought quite a bit of support for my needs over the past many years. I also grew up in a spiritual community. None of these communities or supposed support systems have truly been able to honor my grief in a way that has felt safe. I’ve been disappointed and challenged so many times by the lack of holding and support that I have received for my emotion, for my grief. I say this because in my experience, it is very rare to be held, witnessed and fully seen in the grief process.

I have found that in our culture there is little to no holding for grief. As a result, most people grieve in isolation. Alone, with no one to mirror to them that they are safe, held, supported, normal. The truth is, it is entirely normal to feel pain as a result of loss. I want to see grief normalized.

The grief process has the potential to be a powerful transformational journey. It can awaken us, heal us and create more resiliency- if we have the right resources and support- inside and out. Community holding is one of the most important resources I’ve found, as well as re-learning how to live in your physical body through embodiment resources. But this process requires consistent nonjudgmental holding, witnessing, affirming and a safe container- in order to fully support the metamorphosis of the healing process- inner and outer. It requires that your vulnerability is honored and allowed to exist.

Your past experiences and stories, all impact your ability to feel safe. To feel safe with your feelings, emotions- and the expression of them. Wherever you've experienced a lack of holding, criticism or judgement, you will naturally resist moving closer to these parts of you that are in pain. Your grief will amplify this lack. The places where you feel vulnerable and unsafe.

Are you listening?

Your grief is begging you to not just honor your vulnerability, but to lean into it more closely. It wants you to allow it and be in a relationship with it. Your grief and your vulnerability are hugging each other closely. From this place, profound potential is created. Within your loss and the fragility of this pain, there is something more that is available to you. Your vulnerability can you teach you this. Your grief can help you awaken to the places within that scare you the most- so that you can heal them, re-shape them, and re-create your life. It is through the wisdom and intelligence of your emotional body, that you can truly arrive in radical self awareness, your inner truth, as well as your deepest needs for nourishment.

I want to make sure you don't walk this territory alone. That you have the holding and support that I did not receive. That you get the nourishment of being honored in your grief journey and for your grief journey- in way that truly helps you awaken to its gifts. Now I know what works, and I'm committed to sharing these resources with you.

I'll be sharing more resources in the coming days for those of you, like me, who are navigating the grief process- a lifelong journey of deepening your emotional body wisdom.

Look for more resources, guidance and support coming in the next few weeks to support you with your healing and transformation through loss. I'll also be sharing a special offering for those of you dedicated to your spiritual awakening through grief.
Follow Along


Tapping Meditation for Grief

Use this Tapping Meditation to work through your grief process- when you feel stuck, afraid or resistant to change. Remember that we always start with "truth tapping" by expressing feelings and experiences that feel challenging. This is a vital part of the process and paves the way for transformation and healing.

In the podcast below, I share a tapping (EFT) sequence with you that will guide you through transforming and releasing the old stories and invite in more receptivity. Remember, we start with identifying the challenges, then moving into possibility and desires in order to transform our shadow into light.

Use this podcast as you tap through these points:

Karate chop point (side of the hand).
Crown of the head.
Eyebrow point (above the eye).
Side of the eye.
Under the eye.
Under the nose.
Chin point (crease of the chin).
Throat point (collar bone/throat chakra).
Heart point (center of chest).
Stomach point (above the navel).
Side body (nipple line at side of chest).


Tap six to ten times on each point and just keep cycling through the points. Repeat the phrases I use aloud. Notice any thoughts, stories, memories or emotions that emerge as you tap. These are important pieces to return to, do more tapping on, as a way to clear blockages. As always, if the words I use don't work for you, change them to support your process more fully.

Share your experiences below! What emerged for you in this process? Excited to hear from you!


0 Comments

    The Dharma Blog

    Browse Articles

    The Dharma Circle FB Group

    Join the FB Group

    Podcasts


    Navaratri: Dancing with the Divine Mothers

    How to Find Your Soul's
    True Path

    How Grief can Give you
    More Joy

    Healing Grief and Trauma from a Jyotish Perspective

    I'm Horrible At This + 4 Simple Steps to Get Your Needs Met

    Soma In A Cup {Simple Ayurvedic Recipe for Rejuvenation}

    Why Isn't the Money Flowing?!

    Read Your Jyotish Chart in Five Easy Steps

    Archives

    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013

    Categories

    All
    3 Level Check In
    4 Level Check In
    4 Level Check-in
    8th-house
    Abhijit
    Adhar
    Adharma
    Aditi
    Aditya
    Agni
    Ahirbudhnya
    Ajaikapada
    Akasha
    Akshaya Tritiya
    Alps
    Amavasya
    Anant Chaturdashi
    Ancestors
    Announcements
    Anuradha
    Apas
    Aquarius
    Arda
    Ardra
    Aries
    Articles
    Art Projects
    Aryaman
    Ashlesha
    Ashtami
    Ashvini Kumara
    Ashvini-kumara
    Ashwini
    Astrology.com
    Asuras
    Asvini Kumara
    Asvini-kumara
    Atma
    Atma Karaka
    Ayurveda
    Baseline Statements
    Be You Media
    Bhaga
    Bhagavati
    Bhakti
    Bharani
    Body Centered Expressive Art Therapy
    Body Parts
    Body Wisdom
    Boundaries
    Brahma
    Breath
    Bright Half
    Brihaspati
    Buddha Jayanti
    Buddhapurnima
    Cancer
    Capricorn
    Celebrations
    Chakras
    Chandra
    Charnel Ground
    Chipatis
    Chitra
    Clients
    Combustion
    Conflict
    Cosmic-and-creative-self
    Courage
    Creative Engagement
    Creative Ritual
    Creativity
    Criticvictimeb701f2c8e
    Dance
    Daria Halprin
    Dark
    Dasami
    Dashami
    Debilitated Mars
    Debilitated Mercury
    Debilitated-mercury
    Debilitated Moon
    Debilitated-saturn
    Debilitated Sun
    Debilitated Venus
    Debilitated-venus
    Debt
    Devas
    Devatas
    Dhanishta
    Dhanvantari
    Dharma
    Divine Feminine
    Diwali
    Durga
    Eclipse
    Eclipse Portal
    EFT
    Elephant Journal
    Embodiment
    Emotional Body
    Emotional Body Literacy
    Empowerment
    Exalted Jupiter
    Exalted Mars
    Exalted Mercury
    Exalted Moon
    Exalted Saturn
    Exalted Sun
    Exalted Venus
    Fall Equinox
    Father
    Feet
    Fire
    First Chakra
    Foot
    Full Moon
    Full Moon In Libra
    Full Moon In Virgo
    Full Moon Wisdom
    Gandanta
    Ganesha
    Ganesha Chaturthi
    Ganga
    Ganga Dashahara
    Gayatri Mantra
    Gemini
    Gifts
    Goals
    Goddess
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Guru
    Guru Purnima
    Gut
    Gutbelly6f2d9eb2da
    Haiku
    Hands And Arms
    Hanuman
    Hanuman-jayanti
    Hasta
    Healing
    Heart Wisdom
    Heyam Dukham Anagatam
    Holi
    Horoscopes
    Houses
    Illusions
    Indra
    Indragni
    Jala
    June Yagyas
    Jupiter
    Jupiter Direct
    Jupiter-in-cancer
    Jupiter-in-cancer
    Jupiter In Gemini
    Jupiter In Leo
    Jupiter In Virgo
    Jupiter Retrograde
    Jyeshta
    Jyestha
    Jyotish Basics
    Kala Sarpa Yoga
    Kali
    Kali Yuga
    Karma
    Kartik Purnima
    Ketu
    Ketu In Pisces
    Kitchari
    Knees
    Krishna
    Krishna Janmashtami
    Krishna Paksha
    Krittika
    Kundalini
    Lagna
    Lakshmi
    Landscape
    Legs
    Leo
    Libra
    Light
    Lord Rama
    Love
    Lunar Eclipse
    Ma
    Magha
    Magic
    Mahishasura
    Makar Sankranti
    Makar-sankranti
    Mandala
    Manifestation
    Mars
    Mars In Aries
    Mars In Cancer
    Mars In Leo
    Mars In Libra
    Mars In Scorpio
    Mars In Virgo
    Mars Retro
    Mask Work
    Mental Body
    Mercury
    Mercury Direct
    Mercury In Aries
    Mercury In Cancer
    Mercury In Capricorn
    Mercury In Gemini
    Mercury In Leo
    Mercury In Libra
    Mercury In Pisces
    Mercury In Sagittarius
    Mercury In Scorpio
    Mercury In Taurus
    Mercury In Virgo
    Mercury Retro
    Mercury Retrograde
    Mercury Saturn Conjunction
    Mitra
    Money
    Moon
    Moon Diagnosis
    Moon In Virgo
    Moon Min
    Moon Mind
    Moon-mind
    Moon Mind Calendar
    Moon Wisdom
    Moon Wisdom Calendar
    Mother Divine
    Mrgashiras
    Mrigashirsha
    Mula
    Naga
    Nakshatra Assessment
    Nakshatras
    Navami
    Navaratri
    Navratri
    Neck
    New Moon
    New Moon Gemini
    New Moon Libra
    New Moon Wisdom
    New Year
    Nirrti
    Nritti
    Ocean Of Milk
    Online-events
    Parashara
    Passion
    Pelvis
    Penumbral Eclipse
    Pisces
    Pitr
    Planetary Transits
    Podcast
    Podcasts
    Poems
    Polarities
    Prajapati
    Prana
    Pujanetc7cedf5218
    Pulse Dance
    Punarvasu
    Purification
    Purnima
    PurvaAshada
    Purvabhadrapada
    Purvaphalguni
    Pushan
    Pushya
    Rahu
    Rahu-in-virgo
    Rahu-in-virgo
    Ram Navami
    Rasi
    Recipes
    Relationships
    Resiliency
    Resources
    Retrograde Jupiter
    Retrogradejupiter
    Retrograde Mars
    Retrograde-mars
    Retrograde Mercury
    Retrograde Venus
    Retrograde-venus
    Retrogradevenus
    Revati
    Ribcage
    Ribcase
    Rohini
    Rsvp
    Rudra
    Saas Fee
    Sagittarius
    Sandhi
    Saraswati
    Sarpa
    Satabhisha
    Satabisha
    Saturn
    Saturn Conjunct Mars
    Saturn In Sagittarius
    Saturn In Scorpio
    Saturn Rahu Conjunction
    Saturn Retrograde
    Savitr
    Scorpio
    Second Chakra
    Self Care
    Self Love
    Self Tracking
    Senses
    Sensitivity
    Services And Offerings
    Servicesandofferings
    Sessions-consults
    Sessionsconsults
    Sessions Consults9659814dae
    Shadows
    Shakti
    Shiva
    Shivaratri
    Shukla Paksha
    Shuklapaksha
    Sidereal Astrology
    Signs
    Singing
    Sixth-house
    Solar Eclipse
    Soma
    Soul
    Spine
    Spiritual Bypassing
    Spring Equinox
    Spring-equinox
    Sravana
    Storms
    Suklanta
    Summer Solstice
    Sun
    Sun In Cancer
    Sun In Gemini
    Sun In Leo
    Sun In Pisces
    Sun In Sagittarius
    Sun In Scorpio
    Sun In Taurus
    Sun In Virgo
    Sun Mercury Conjunction
    Sun Sign
    Surya
    Swati
    Swati Jr Jewelry
    Tamalpa
    Tapas
    Taurus
    Tejas
    Testimonials
    The Critic
    The Emergent
    Three-steps
    Thriving
    Throat And Jaw
    Tithi 1
    Tithi-10
    Tithi 13
    Tithi 14
    Tithi 15
    Tithi15
    Tithi 2
    Tithi 3
    Tithi 4
    Tithi 5
    Tithi 7
    Tithi 8
    Tithi 9
    Transits
    Trayodashi
    Tropical Astrology
    Twelfth-house
    Upanishad
    Uttarabhadrapada
    Uttaraphalguni
    Uttarashada
    Vaidya Rama Kant Mishra
    Varuna
    Vasant-navaratri
    Vasu
    Vasudeva
    Vasu Devas
    Vayu
    Venus
    Venus In Aries
    Venus In Cancer
    Venus In Gemini
    Venus In Leo
    Venus In Libra
    Venus In Pisces
    Venus In Scorpio
    Venus In Taurus
    Vijayadashami
    Virgo
    Vishaka
    Vishnu
    Vishvadeva
    Vishvakarma
    Visvadeva
    Vulnerability
    Waning Moon
    Waningmoon
    Warrior
    Water
    Water Color
    Waxing Moon
    Waxingmoon
    Wealth
    Winter Solstice
    Winter-solstice
    Workshops
    Yagyas
    Yajur Veda
    Yama
    Yoga
    Zen

All content on this website is sole property of Saraswati Embodied Dharma Coaching  unless otherwise noted and may not be reproduced without permission or consent. Please be aware that legal action will be taken if content is used without permission or credit.
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • About Swati
  • Dharma Blog
  • Why Jyotish Astrology?
  • Privacy Policy