Whatever you're calling into your life- wanting, desiring, creating- there are guaranteed obstacles in your way. This may sound pessimistic, but the simple truth is, if there weren't obstacles keeping you from having what you want, what you desire, you'd already have your goal accomplished. 

These obstacles and challenges that are keeping you away from your desired goal or outcome are necessary change agents- if you know how to work with them directly. I often speak about being grateful for challenges and obstacles for this very reason. If you didn't have these challenges, you wouldn't grow very much in this lifetime.

That said, too often people do not know how to work with their challenges effectively. They don't continue to gather new resources, they don't reach out for guidance and support, and they don't keep up the consistent work it takes for sustainable results. Getting a new resource here and there, some guidance and support periodically, but not taking consistent, daily measures to create inner change, will not get you the outcome you desire. And certainly not quickly.

There are many reasons people don't take consistent, effective action steps for creating life change. Reasons why people don't change, why life never gets better, smoother, more harmonious and nourishing. The most common factors are resistance, avoidance, self sabotage, chaos addiction, high pain tolerance (usually connected to pain addiction).

The reality is that life could be radically different tomorrow, just by making different choices today. We all have this option. I find it curious why so often we don't. Why so many people keep choosing ill health, bad relationships, being poor, malnourishment, disempowered, etc. over and over and over again. Why stay in the lack? When these stories can change?

I am fascinated by the process of creating life change, and what the factors are that necessitate the change process. Truthfully, every human being on the planet is a powerful creator. Each of us is here to create the most powerful life we can imagine. And yet the grande majority of humans do not. They choose not to live their full potential- or even a small percentage of it. I've never been satisfied with this story, when I know that every human is capable of so much more!

Herein lies the biggest part of the change process: potential. It's here. Like a seed. It just needs the right conditions in order for the growth process to take place. That's where you come in. That's where your seed tending requires willingness and diligence.

Each one of us gets to decide what types of seeds we choose to grow- more weeds or something more brilliant, more fruitful. As the theory of epigenetics states- conditions, choices, environment and behavior have more to do with a person's life experiences, than genetics. Quite simply, it's your choices that determine what genes are turned on and which ones are turned off.

What you choose to turn on and off is solely determined by your choices. This is the free will expressed in your jyotish chart. The reason why a chart expresses the karmas you've arrived with (that which can't be changed), yet the rest is an expression of tendencies, not precise outcomes.

Thankfully, you can change much of your chart, your karmas, and create very different results for yourself. I am passionate about helping my clients see the possibilities they have karmically and supporting their change process. After all, being alive in a human body means there is potential for growth, evolution, change, awareness and expansion of consciousness. Why be here on the planet if you have no ability to change your life circumstances?

I continue to study the change process, which in my eyes is the healing process. Healing is not a linear process, neither is change. The resources I use for creating change, support the Four Pathways of Healing, in order for well-rounded, fully integrated healing to take place. But all healing starts with identification. Which is why I love jyotish so much. It is the ideal resource for identifying blockages, challenges, obstacles. Remember these factors are the change agents that support your healing process. This is truly step number one.

Every challenge, obstacle or struggle in your way to changing, is a result of inner conflict- polarities that are not in harmony with each other. The outcome you desire would easily arrive, if it weren't for this inner battle. The reality is that part of you wants to change, while another part of you does not. It's vital to identify these two parts of yourself in order to heal and transform.


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So what's the fast path to healing, transforming and creating change?

Here are my six steps for creating lasting change and diffusing inner conflict:

1) Acknowledge and Identify What's Not Working.

What challenge, obstacle or struggle are you facing? What level of your being is this obstacle manifesting on? Physical, Mental, Emotional, or Spiritual? Perhaps one or more levels of your being is being effected. Take note of where and how this challenge is emerging within you. This is the first step to creating change. Using your jyotish chart to clarify how these challenges are effecting you will support swift and lasting change. For example if you are struggling with finances and lack of money, this will be apparent in your jyotish chart- possibly through Venus or the Second House. It may be an imbalance (ie: conflict between opposing forces) that is rooted in the mental body, but effecting your physical body.

2) Identify Polarities.

Once you identify what is not working, what the challenge or obstacle is, you can identify what the conflict truly is. Remember that whatever the desire, whatever you say you want to create in your life, always has another side that isn't in agreement. The conflict will always sounds something like "I want this but". Listen to the "but" because this is other side, the duality that is keeping you from creating your desire and manifesting it. Part of you wants the change. Part of you does not. You must start here in order to get somewhere else.

3) Find the Need.

Now that you have identified the challenge and the opposing forces within you, it's time to acknowledge the needs that each of these parts has. Part of you wants the change, part of you does not. Listen closely to the part of you that does not want the change. This part of you is a vital messenger- the part of you that will disclose the reason for your resistance, avoidance, self sabotage, etc. Ask this part of you what it needs. "I hear you do not want this change. What do you need from me? What are you trying to tell me?" 
Imagine yourself asking a small child, a loved one, or perhaps a client. Let this part of you speak and share with you.

4) Honor Your Polarities.

So you have these two parts. One says I want this change, the other part of you says it does not. You've asked, you've listened to this part of you that says "no" and you've heard it whisper a message to you. You're leaning in. You're listening. You're honoring. Just by listening and acknowledging, you are honoring. When you honor, you are present, holding, giving space to parts of yourself that may have never been witnessed before. Honoring means offering loving kindness, compassion and on some level, acceptance, for these parts within that may not be speaking to each other, that may have never learned how to speak to you, let alone to each other. 

5) Opening to Harmony and Integration.

Something begins to dissolve, loosen its grip, when it gets heard, acknowledged and spoken. When the darkness and challenges that are so often suppressed and locked away, hidden within, emerge on the surface of our being and they are honored, change can take place. As you honor your inner conflicts and their needs, a new possibility can emerge. You may even say to yourself "I am open to the possibility of finding a new way of being with these two parts of myself." As you open to new possibilities, you open the door of harmony and integration automatically. Notice how this possibility feels within you. Do you feel some softening arrive, just saying yes to possibility alone? 

6) Stay Open to Possibility.

As you continue to say yes to the possibility of finding a new way of being with your inner conflict, these opposing forces within you, keep allowing the possibility to arrive. Keep saying yes to the possibility of finding a new way of being with your opposing forces- the yes and the no. Acknowledge that you don't know what this looks like, what it feels like, what this means for you and your life. But simultaneously, keep saying yes to the possibility that there is a way. There is a way to find harmony and integration with your inner conflicts, with the part that says yes to change and no to change. This is a vital step in the change and transformation process. The mental body far too often "needs to know" an outcome, which can stop you from staying open and receptive to possibility and new pathways. Try to stay out of the "how" and stay in the "I'm open and receptive to a new way".

7) Finding Unity.

Unifying polarities has a distinct feeling. It brings ease, release, softness and a certain gentleness with it. Often it is marked with a swelling of gratitude, love, joy and peace. The conflict dissolves and more fluidity takes its place. There is no force- just surrender to the flow of energy. Unifying polarities can take moments, or it can take days, weeks or months- depending on how effectively you are working with the layers of resistance. Continuing to arrive into the "possibility" of harmonizing your opposing forces, opens the door to creating more dialogue between these different parts of yourself. Continue to hold the different parts of your being and allow them to be witnessed, acknowledge and listened to. This is a process of learning how to love and accept all parts of yourself, which is essentially how inner unity takes place.



These seven steps are greatly supported with resources, tools and modalities that create energetic shifts on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual body levels. You can also use these steps directly with your tapping (EFT) process, as well as embodiment and art therapy processes. The path from challenge and conflict, to inner harmony and unity, is supported with deep listening, acceptance, allowing needs to emerge, while staying open to possibility, but staying out of the "how".

Balance is achieved through a process of integrating and harmonizing inner polarities- on all four levels of your being. The true meaning of balance is unifying the opposing forces within the bodies- mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. This is the path of yoga, union, and includes the integration of masculine and feminine polarities. As you keep dipping into the unity and finding the harmony within, the energy being used to stay in battle with yourself, dissolves, releases and transforms. Suddenly this inner power unleashes your creative intelligence and you are moving swiftly towards your goals and desires- with clarity, purpose and deep inner knowing. You are a powerful force! Dissolve the inner battles and reclaim your power.

Throughout the Vedic texts, there are countless tales of good forces battling evil forces, the light always overtaking the darkness. One of the most potent example of dissolving inner conflict between opposing forces, is depicted in the Bhagavad Gita. Arjuna contemplates whether to fight his family members in order to restore dharma. It is a timeless battle between polarities, duality- one that is expressed both internally and externally for Arjuna. This battle mirrors the story each one of us faces daily- as we choose to take on inner conflict, or choose to avoid it. Avoiding does not make it go away. Lord Krishna was clear to Arjuna that he must go into battle, he must address this conflict head on. This is my philosophy for healing and transformation. By using our warrior spirit, we can make great strides quickly, and restore balance, harmony and dharma- inner and outer.

The Bhagavad Gita speaks of the path to yoga, to moksha or liberation using jnana (knowledge, especially through experience), bhakti (devotion on the heart level), karma (action), Raja Yoga (transcendence or samadhi), samkhya (philosophy). These are resources for awakening pathways of change and transformation. They also uphold and support change on the four levels of being- Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual. The steps I've outlined above are an expression of this inner change process, the process of resolution or inner harmony. Balance, peace and integration do not come from force or brutality, but from acceptance, acknowledgment, compassion and honoring. When all parts of our being feel safe, feel held and supported, then, and only then, can inner unity take place.


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Life is full of polarities. I'm convinced that's all there is! As well as what emerges when two opposing forces merge and co-create. In the Expressive Art Therapy realm, we call this "the Third". Some know it as the Transcendent, or simply the emergent. The sign Gemini in fact symbolizes this creative process, as it expresses "the Third" quite literally. Not only is Gemini a number three, but in the Vedic tradition, the symbol is two lovers who co-create, bringing forth a third energy.

I have been particularly interested in polarities myself because my personal jyotish chart is full of them! This began to fascinate me (or challenge me rather) many years ago when I began studying my chart. I knew there were extremes presented, and I experienced them within me, yet I didn't know how to reconcile this. Starting with a Scorpio ascendant- which truly symbolizes the transformational energy of polarities combining. I also have a powerful combination of fire and water in my chart. And we all know what happens when fire and water meet! This theme of fire and water began to emerge over and over again in my paintings and movement practice. The polarities wouldn't leave me alone! I have danced with the question of integration for years, and recently I had a break through! If you're interested in your inner harmony, read on! And join me for my new, revolutionary weekly Jyotish Astrology Group Coaching Classes just for women.

Jyotish speaks to the mystery of polarities very intimately. Each sign in fact shares some level of this dance between polarities. Other parts of jyotish express polarities in different ways- whether it is through the masculine and feminine, the elements, the deities, Natural Laws, cycles, rhythms, life and death, Sun and Moon, inner realms and outer realms, etc. Because Vedic Astrology is a science based on the cosmos, it is deeply connected to cycles, rhythms and movement. When we track the cosmos, we are tracking our own inner cosmic nature. Thus, Jyotish can tell us a lot about our own dance with polarities. Even the lunar nodes, or shadow points, in your chart are polar opposites of each other, and always look directly at each other seven houses away. Not surprisingly they can tell you a lot about your inner dance with polarities and what inner conflicts you are here to harmonize and integrate in this life time.

I'm convinced that this is in fact the secret to inner peace, unity, enlightenment. The non-dual, the non conflict within. What is yoga? Union! How is this achieved? Through harmonizing polarities within the body- the masculine and feminine energies, essentially. When we boil polarities down to their essence, it will always connect you back to the masculine and feminine. This is the most vital ingredient for your inner harmony.

But how do you integrate these extremes?

There are many methods for uniting the polarities within and the Vedic tradition is arguably the most ancient resource for this process. As with all branches of the Ved, they support the process of union, or enlightenment. My favorite resource is Vedic Astrology because it is truly a road map for one's life quest- inner and outer. Jyotish is a light source for identifying the blockages within you- Physically, Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually. These blockages are keeping you from fully integrating your polarities. The wisdom of jyotish is an immense and powerful resource for healing and transformation.

Here's what to look for in your jyotish chart:

For starters, identify your rising sign, Sun and Moon signs. Notice their symbol. What does their symbol say about who you are and what you need in this life?

Your rising sign will tell you how you see the world. It is the main influence of your chart because it organizes all other factors. For example, a polarity can exist if you have a water sign with your Sun sitting in it. This would be a very exact conflict between masculine and feminine energies.

Individual planets may express themselves through conflict as well. Let's say your natal Moon is in a nakshatra ruled by the Sun. Or if the soft, gentle and friendly Moon is in a harsh or fierce nakshatra, this will naturally stir conflict within- especially within the emotional body. Any planet in opposition with another planet will also cause a "war" or constant battle within. Mars and Saturn for example, if conjunct, will battle over action and non action.

The jyotish chart can show you quite directly where the polarities are within you. More importantly, where the conflicts are. These conflicts within are occurring on different levels of your being- Physically, Mentally, Emotionally or Spiritually. Think about when you are in an argument with someone. What happens to you- on the four levels of your being? You may feel tense, contracted, heated, stressed or all of the above. Think about your mental body being in this state constantly on some inner level of your being? Your emotional body? Physical or Spiritual bodies? Your jyotish chart can tell you where these conflicts are rooted in your being. This identification can be used as a resource to unravel the inner conflict, to harmonize or integrate the extremes within you. When any part of your body is in conflict with another part, there will be a an inability to be fully nourished, or unified. I encourage and advocate a well rounded healing process so that there is full support and awakening for the entire being- not just one part of it.

I've written extensively recently about the signs of inner conflict. In fact, challenges and obstacles in life are nothing more than mirrors being held up to show you where you are not fully harmonized or integrated. Other signs are self sabotage, chaos, stress, overwhelm, etc. Challenges don't just happen! These are parts of your being asking for your attention. When the challenge manifests on the conscious or visible level, you know this is an inner conflict asking for your attention. Read my article and use my Tapping Meditation Podcast to identify inner challenges.

Since the ultimate polarity always comes back to masculine and feminine, I think it's important to understand this dynamic very intimately. Working with these Laws of Nature are vital for working with these parts of yourself and others, so that you are not always pushing against the natural tendencies they offer. First, it must be noted that both masculine and feminine have their own polarities as well. There are shadow sides to both the masculine and feminine, which can often misconstrue the way we see them.

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Are you in balance with your masculine and feminine energies? Identify which attributes you exhibit and then notice if you have more masculine or feminine traits.

Traits of Masculine Energy:

- Likes to focus on a task for a designated amount of time.
- Timely in meals, waking, bed time, etc.
- Clear, concise communication.
- Punctual and honors time, time frames and deadlines.
- Uses strategy and clear follow through.
- Thinks in terms of outcome, goals and intentions.
- Prefers structure and wants guarantees.
- Likes "to know" and have answers.
- Solution oriented. Wants to "solve" problems.
- Gives input and shares with others.
- Externally focused.
- Oriented towards giving (power role).
- Aggressive, warrior spirit. Likes to win.
- Action oriented behavior and mentality.
- Thinks more than feels.
- Science is truth. Prefers facts, statistics, scientific validation.
- Does not rely on intuition for decision making.
- Always thinking, ruled by the mental body.
- Oriented towards structure, containment.
- Has clear boundaries, sets clear boundaries.
- Focuses on challenges and obstacles.


Traits of Feminine Energy:

- Easily surrenders and releases the need to know.
- Process oriented rather than product.
- Sees the value in the unknown, the uncertain.
- Prefers fluidity and movement to structure.
- Receptive, receives input.
- Internally focused.
- Feels more than thinks.
- Expansive, open, fluid.
- Oriented towards receiving (receptive role).
- Prefers to not use a schedule or forgets to use it.
- Lack of time perception.
- Attuned to Creative Intelligence.
- Enjoys co-creation and values working as a team.
- Always learning, growing, expanding.
- Oriented towards nurturing, resources, nourishment.
- Feels more than thinks.
- A "love conquers all" mentality.
- Intuitive alignment. A strong trust in this inner knowing.
- Always dreaming and uses imagination regularly.
- Enjoys the imaginal, possibility, potential.
- Lack of boundaries.


Ideally, integration, harmony and the ability to vacillate between masculine and feminine energies as needed, is ideal. Ultimately, flexibility is the desired result. Use my podcast below to support you in this process. Potential and possibility are the gateway for greater harmony and integration.

Use this Tapping Meditation to increase integration between masculine and feminine energies- when you feel stuck, afraid or resistant to change. Remember that we always start with "truth tapping" by expressing feelings and experiences that feel challenging. This is a vital part of the process and paves the way for transformation and healing.

In the podcast below, I share a tapping (EFT) sequence with you that will guide you through transforming and releasing the old stories and invite in more receptivity. Remember, we start with identifying the challenges, then moving into possibility and desires in order to transform our shadow into light.

Use this podcast as you tap through these points:

Karate chop point (side of the hand).
Crown of the head.
Eyebrow point (above the eye).
Side of the eye.
Under the eye.
Under the nose.
Chin point (crease of the chin).
Throat point (collar bone/throat chakra).
Heart point (center of chest).
Stomach point (above the navel).
Side body (nipple line at side of chest).

Tap six to ten times on each point and just keep cycling through the points. Repeat the phrases I use aloud. Notice any thoughts, stories, memories or emotions that emerge as you tap. These are important pieces to return to, do more tapping on, as a way to clear blockages. As always, if the words I use don't work for you, change them to support your process more fully.

Share your experiences below! What emerged for you in this process? Excited to hear from you!