The planetary transits in the coming months bring themes of disconnection and deep release. Some of this will be forced, uncomfortable and challenging. Many will be triggered by a range of emotions, mental body stories and old personal mythology rising to the surface.

Read more about the challenging transits to come.

How do you know if you are disempowered, disconnected from your inner source?

When your breath is short, body is tight and mind is running the show, you are likely disconnected from your inner wisdom and power.

This may present itself through emotional body reactions, mental stories that seem to be on repeat in your head, and physical body responses that constrict you, leaving you closed off to possibility, options, new choices..

Old patterns and behaviors that keep you locked in disempowerment or self sabotage are ways that you may be repeatedly disconnecting from your power. This can in fact be an addiction. Allowing yourself to repeatedly get sucked into old behaviors and patterns are likely the root of much of your disconnection and disempowerment. Can you catch yourself in the act? 

Deeper inner listening and self tracking are both essential for bringing your unconscious actions and choices to the surface, to your conscious awareness. This is where your power is. In the present moment. When you can intercept an old thought, behavior or spiral of thoughts and emotions, then you can make a different choice. Your power is firmly rooted in making choices. Choices that nourish and align with your highest intentions, rather than old, outworn and negative patterns and behaviors that lead to behaviors that don't really honor or serve you.

Recently I had a very conscious interception of old thought patterns, and finally put my foot down.

After days of self loathing and feeling like I had made some very poor choices- choices that resulted in deep heart break and sadness (again)- I realized this was a very old addiction for me. The addiction of beating myself up mentally for making a "bad" choice and then further spiraling down into "See, I've done it again" and even "I deserve this pain because of this bad choice."

The addiction to these old stories has cost me much happiness and self love over the years. But this week, I took my power back. I stepped towards the story rather than letting it control me. I tapped it out. I danced it out. I painted it out and got it moving, rather than stuck inside of me. And then I said "NO".

After closer investigation, I realized that this old pattern of spiraling down and down and down in self deprecation could actually be stopped- if I chose to stop it. So I did. I realized I could take my power back from these old thoughts, these old stories, and the behaviors that come with them. I took my power back.

The reality is that I learned a lot from my recent painful choices and the grief that emerged through the heartbreak. They have made me wiser, more careful, and even expanded my compassion towards myself and others. That part feels good and should be celebrated. But staying stuck in the self inflicted pain is a choice. And because I became aware of my thoughts and emotions, I could also say "No more". I chose to reconnect, realign and re-establish my connection to my truth, my source, my inner knowing- my power.

What does it feel like to be connected, empowered and aligned with your inner source?

You've no doubt had these moments- often fleeting- yet memorable. Compelling enough that they inspire you to find ways to re-connect again and again. The body is the point of reconnection, the point of aligning with the NOW. Your body holds infinite wisdom and connects you to your source, Spirit and your inner knowing.

When you are connected and aligned with your inner wisdom, your power, it often feels light, simple, easy and nourishing. Some feel joy, happiness and heart expansion swelling and opening the body, breath and feeling level.

The dance of disconnection and reconnection is the epic journey of coming home- over and over again. It is the story of embodiment and establishing greater grounding, roots and resiliency- in order to ride the undulating waves and tumultuous storms of life.  Reconnecting within body, mind, emotions and spirit are all essential for greater power, purpose and clarity with your being and your life!

What do you do in the face of disconnection from your inner power? How do you find your way back to inner trust and certainty? What resources are your go-to tools for reconnection?

Here are five ways to establish deeper, sustainable connection with your Self and your inner power.

5 Ways to Step Into Your Power Right now:


1) The point of power is in the now, this moment right now.
You won't truly know the power of this moment without establishing a deeper sense of Self awareness. What is arriving right now within your inner landscape? What do you need right now in order to deepen your sense of reconnection? Do a Self audit. Self track every day.

2) Loosen the grip of triggers and painful stories.
Move the mind and emotions and don't let them get stuck in your unconscious mind. Use my Tapping Meditation below to take back your power, get embodied and hear the wisdom of your inner knowing.

3) Track the planets and know what's impacting you right now.
A deeper Self awareness comes from understanding the influences upon you. Then you can properly resource yourself. Knowing how the planets are impacting your mind, body and emotions, is a powerful step in bringing light (jyoti) to your conscious awareness. Jyotish prevents unnecessary suffering and helps you align with right action and choices. Track the planets daily, weekly, and monthly.

4) Study the layers of your inner wisdom. Know thyself.
Your jyotish chart is the most potent resource of identification and self exploration you will ever receive. It is the map of your soul, shows you your life purpose, your reason for being alive. The short cut to understanding who you are and why you are alive, can be found through studying your jyotish chart. All the wisdom you need for greater, clarity and ease is written within your cosmic map. Deepen your jyotish studies and awaken your inner knowing with this.

5) Commit to your self growth and say yes to new resources and guidance.
Consistent guidance and support makes the difference between success and failure in this life. You can't get new results when you continue to do the same thing and make the same choices. Lasting sustainable change comes when you start changing old patterns and stop repeating old behaviors. Big life changes occur when you get ongoing guidance and support, new resources and tools for success.

Start your new year off with deep intention, clarity and alignment with your life purpose. Discover what is in the way of your big success and personal fulfillment- so you can fast track yourself towards greater nourishment and more abundance- on all levels of life.

Regular sessions with me will support deeper empowerment on every level of your life. Let's create a plan for you so you can awaken your biggest dreams and desires. Find clarity and deeper purpose with your life path through monthly sessions with me. *** Ask me about  scholarship options. ***


Words I've been sharing with myself and clients recently:

Take Your Power Back! 🐅✨

I love myself way too much to let your words hurt me. I love myself way too much to allow your own ignorance to touch me. I love myself way too much to allow your inability to self refer to impact me. I love myself too much and honor my inner wisdom so much, I can't allow your fear, your hate and your inner violence to penetrate my sacred center. It's unacceptable to me- to allow your ignorance to shame me, rip me down, make me feel insignificant and subordinate. No more. I take my power back. I take my power back because I can. I take my power back because my wisdom and inner knowing are valuable. I have my own genius, as everyone does. I honor my uniqueness and I honor my gifts. So I take my power back. I take my power back because this world needs women who can trust themselves, women who can affirm themselves, and women who can honor themselves- even when others try to rip them down. I take my power back so that I can help empower others. This world needs more of that. So you can take your shame, your blame, your dominance based ego elsewhere. I can see through all of that and it's not welcome here. I love myself and so I take my power back.

(BONUS: Use the tapping points below and tap through these words of empowerment!)

Tapping Meditation for More Power

Use this Tapping Meditation when you feel stuck, afraid or resistant to change. When you get triggered by someone else or find yourself frozen in old patterns and behaviors.

Remember that we always start with "truth tapping" by expressing feelings and experiences that feel challenging. This is a vital part of the process and paves the way for transformation and healing.

In the podcast below, I share a tapping (EFT) sequence with you that will guide you through transforming and releasing the old stories and invite in more receptivity. Remember, we start with identifying the challenges, then moving into possibility and desires in order to transform our shadow into light.

Use this podcast as you tap through these points:

Karate chop point (side of the hand).
Crown of the head.
Eyebrow point (above the eye).
Side of the eye.
Under the eye.
Under the nose.
Chin point (crease of the chin).
Throat point (collar bone/throat chakra).
Heart point (center of chest).
Stomach point (above the navel).
Side body (nipple line at side of chest).

Tap six to ten times on each point and just keep cycling through the points. Repeat the phrases I use aloud. Notice any thoughts, stories, memories or emotions that emerge as you tap. These are important pieces to return to, do more tapping on, as a way to clear blockages. As always, if the words I use don't work for you, change them to support your process more fully.

Share your experiences below! What emerged for you in this process? Excited to hear from you!

Last night I spoke at the Grief Support Network in Boulder, Colorado. I shared parts of my grief journey that I've never shared before- the lack of community support and understanding I've received, as well as the physical challenges and limitations that resulted from my grief.

Standing in front of an entire room of people, sharing some of my most vulnerable experiences with loss, was a powerful reminder for me. A reminder of how to ride my emotional edge as well as honor my vulnerability and my grief.

How can I connect and share? Feel connected with others? Even when navigating my vulnerable inner terrain, my story of loss and trauma?

I've resisted my vulnerability for so long. I've resisted sharing anything about my grief. It hasn't felt safe to share my feelings and needs with others. Consequently, I haven't been getting my needs met very well. Read more about how to get your needs met.
 
In fact, recently, I've realized just how few of my needs are actually being met.

How much I've been living in a place that is more about survival than actually thriving. I've been feeling the impact of this on all levels of my life- especially in my relationships, money, and my ability to play and have fun. I've been stuck in the story of just getting my basic needs met- like food, clothing, shelter, making it through the day to day existence stuff. This is very much connected to living with my grief. In fact, simplicity has been crucial to regaining a sense of inner stability, to returning to life.

But as I return to life once again, I'm realizing that living in survival, with only my basic needs being met, is leaving me with little else. With very little affirmation and reassurance from others. Getting only a basic level of support from my relationships. Not enjoying playfulness, fun, ease and time away from work. From the outside, it might look like I'm getting all my needs met. But inside, I've been feeling a growing dissatisfaction with my life.

Disappointment, resentment, fear, discouragement, anger, sadness, hostility, feelings of withdrawing or lashing out- are all signs that specific needs are not being met.

Yes, your emotional body is the barometer of your needs. 

My grief journey has cracked me wide open. There's nothing like loss to awaken all the places within you that are unattended to, that lack nourishment and holding. The nature of grief is a process of release, letting go, endings. Holes arrive- in all layers of your life. Deep, painful wounds begin to surface, showing themselves in ways that have long gone unnoticed. Grief brings your pain, darkness and shadow to the light, to the surface.

As I shared with the Grief Support Network last night, there were two basic needs that were not met for me during my early grief process. Needs that became painfully clear during my grief. What came to light was the lack of support, holding, and structure that was missing in my life. Without a safe container- inside and out- there's no safety, no stability, and no baseline for growth and nourishment. It is a basic need. I had multiple challenges within my own physical body support systems. I also was forced to recognize that the support systems I had in place on the outside, were not able to meet me or hold me in my deepest pain. I was left feeling completely isolated, alone and ungrounded.

From a jyotish perspective, this baseline structure in life is shown through Saturn. He is your inner support system- like the skeleton, bones, the physical body. Saturn can also show you what type of outer structure and support is available to you. He is also the indicator of your grief. Everyone has grief because everyone has a Saturn. Wondering how grief touches your life? Look at Saturn in your jyotish chart.

Grief is your vulnerability.

It is the part of your life that has no answers, no solutions, no way to be repaired. It is the territory of loss and the process of letting go. This place is fragile- like a seed still incubating in the ground, waiting to burst forth. It is a transitional point, a time of change. The grief journey is a process of awakening- if we use it as such.

My own grief has been my biggest teacher in this life. It has been teaching me the fallacy of healing. I've been awakening to the realization that there is in fact nothing to fix or change within me. My grief has taught me about building a relationship with my vulnerability, my pain and discomfort, rather than resisting it or avoiding it.

Death has been such an intimate part of my existence. I've been reluctant and resistant to honor that reality. I loathe it in fact, but I can no longer deny this truth. Walking a path of life long grief, being forced to re-visit trauma and losses now several times over, has forced me to return to this place of vulnerability again and again.

This vulnerability is the wisdom of the 8th house of  your jyotish chart.

It is the house of vulnerability, that which you most fear and would rather not look at. It is your grief, pain, darkness and shadow. It is also your transformation and transcendence. It is your grief journey. To more deeply understand your relationship with grief and vulnerability, study the 8th house of your jyotish chart. Right now, Saturn is moving through Scorpio by transit, provoking these themes quite literally. The impact on everyone right now is very important. Read more about Saturn in Scorpio

As a human, your natural tendency is to resist your vulnerability. It isn't comfortable, so why move closer to it? Yet, leaning into the places that feels discomfort, can be extremely powerful and transformational. Leaning into your grief is the medicine for life.

The theme of this Saturn in Scorpio transit is to deepen your relationship with the emotional body, that most vulnerable inner terrain within you. In fact, to lean into your grief. Moon (your emotional body) is considered debilitated, or fallen, in Scorpio. The Moon wants to express itself, which is why it is considered exalted in Taurus, associated with the second house of speech. Moon in Scorpio, associated with the 8th house, is the most hidden house of the chart, therefor the Moon doesn't get to express itself; it gets lost, suppressed or avoided. The second house is also the mirror of the 8th house, expressing the polarities of inner and outer expression.

My grief continues to teach me about my own relationship with vulnerability- my own resistance, suppression and avoidance of my emotional body. The big waves all the way to the small ripples. The tide pools to the flooding of a high tide. I've also been learning a lot about other peoples resistance to their emotions- mainly as a result of witnessing others' discomfort with mine. And of course I always learn so much from my amazing clients- tracking their stories with grief, and how foreign this process is to most people.

As a body-centered expressive art therapist. I have been through several therapy programs, been to countless healers and sought quite a bit of support for my needs over the past many years. I also grew up in a spiritual community. None of these communities or supposed support systems have truly been able to honor my grief in a way that has felt safe. I’ve been disappointed and challenged so many times by the lack of holding and support that I have received for my emotion, for my grief. I say this because in my experience, it is very rare to be held, witnessed and fully seen in the grief process.

I have found that in our culture there is little to no holding for grief. As a result, most people grieve in isolation. Alone, with no one to mirror to them that they are safe, held, supported, normal. The truth is, it is entirely normal to feel pain as a result of loss. I want to see grief normalized.

The grief process has the potential to be a powerful transformational journey. It can awaken us, heal us and create more resiliency- if we have the right resources and support- inside and out. Community holding is one of the most important resources I’ve found, as well as re-learning how to live in your physical body through embodiment resources. But this process requires consistent nonjudgmental holding, witnessing, affirming and a safe container- in order to fully support the metamorphosis of the healing process- inner and outer. It requires that your vulnerability is honored and allowed to exist.

Your past experiences and stories, all impact your ability to feel safe. To feel safe with your feelings, emotions- and the expression of them. Wherever you've experienced a lack of holding, criticism or judgement, you will naturally resist moving closer to these parts of you that are in pain. Your grief will amplify this lack. The places where you feel vulnerable and unsafe.

Are you listening?

Your grief is begging you to not just honor your vulnerability, but to lean into it more closely. It wants you to allow it and be in a relationship with it. Your grief and your vulnerability are hugging each other closely. From this place, profound potential is created. Within your loss and the fragility of this pain, there is something more that is available to you. Your vulnerability can you teach you this. Your grief can help you awaken to the places within that scare you the most- so that you can heal them, re-shape them, and re-create your life. It is through the wisdom and intelligence of your emotional body, that you can truly arrive in radical self awareness, your inner truth, as well as your deepest needs for nourishment.

I want to make sure you don't walk this territory alone. That you have the holding and support that I did not receive. That you get the nourishment of being honored in your grief journey and for your grief journey- in way that truly helps you awaken to its gifts. Now I know what works, and I'm committed to sharing these resources with you.

I'll be sharing more resources in the coming days for those of you, like me, who are navigating the grief process- a lifelong journey of deepening your emotional body wisdom.

Look for more resources, guidance and support coming in the next few weeks to support you with your healing and transformation through loss. I'll also be sharing a special offering for those of you dedicated to your spiritual awakening through grief. Follow Along

Use this Tapping Meditation to work through your grief process- when you feel stuck, afraid or resistant to change. Remember that we always start with "truth tapping" by expressing feelings and experiences that feel challenging. This is a vital part of the process and paves the way for transformation and healing.

In the podcast below, I share a tapping (EFT) sequence with you that will guide you through transforming and releasing the old stories and invite in more receptivity. Remember, we start with identifying the challenges, then moving into possibility and desires in order to transform our shadow into light.

Use this podcast as you tap through these points:

Karate chop point (side of the hand).
Crown of the head.
Eyebrow point (above the eye).
Side of the eye.
Under the eye.
Under the nose.
Chin point (crease of the chin).
Throat point (collar bone/throat chakra).
Heart point (center of chest).
Stomach point (above the navel).
Side body (nipple line at side of chest).

Tap six to ten times on each point and just keep cycling through the points. Repeat the phrases I use aloud. Notice any thoughts, stories, memories or emotions that emerge as you tap. These are important pieces to return to, do more tapping on, as a way to clear blockages. As always, if the words I use don't work for you, change them to support your process more fully.

Share your experiences below! What emerged for you in this process? Excited to hear from you!