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Four Signs Your Relationship Won't Last.

5/31/2018

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Relationships bring growth, change and awakening. Some relationships provide transformation and healing through love, gentleness, and kindness. Other relationships offer insights and awakening through hurt, pain, grief and hardship. Everyone has different karma with relationships. There are even time periods that support more harmonious relationships and timing that does not.

Studying your jyotish chart can be helpful to understand what Nature will support you with- and what She will not. For example, if you are not in a cycle that energetically aligns with starting new relationships, forcing it will only bring more pain and struggle. However, if you are in a cycle that does easily allow relationships to blossom, you will more easily meet new relationships and be receptive to receiving them. This is the difference between winter and spring. In the springtime, flowers open and welcome the bees. They are receptive and alive with nectar. Just like Nature and her cycles, we too have cycles and rhythms that best support and activate certain desires. Trying to start a relationship when you are in a winter cycle will not bring the bees!

Money and relationships are the top two concerns clients come to me with. Both are Venus issues. Venus represents Shakti, or life force energy, in the jyotish chart. It's either flowing and gushing, or slow and trickling. Balance, harmony, love and generosity are qualities of Venus when she can express herself well. When she feels restricted, her energy will feel hard, poor and challenge love, creativity, money and vitality. We need Venus to support the flow of life- literally.

Venus impacts relationships in a variety of ways. We can see in a jyotish chart the expression of Venus and how happy she is. This directly effects how harmonious relationships are. Some people are born with relationship karma that will always hinder harmony, balance, ease and the flow of love. There are also some who easily experience more fluidity with giving and receiving of love. These are the people that tend to attract, align and sustain relationships more easily. Attracting a relationship is often not as challenging as being fulfilled in a relationship. That is why looking at a jyotish chart to see if happiness and harmony are possible will help understand the long term impact of a relationship.

When Venus is impacted by Saturn or Mars, there can be challenges with relationships. This can be through conjunction, gaze or even the constellation Venus lives in. Saturn can stop or delay a relationship, whereas Mars may spark a relationship but it won't last. If Venus is associated with Rahu, relationships may be unusual, unsafe, deceitful, untrustworthy or unusual. Ketu conjunct Venus or offering his gaze to Venus can create sudden shocks, trauma or disconnections as a result of relationships. If Venus is debilitated in your jyotish chart, it will create more vulnerability with all things relationships. An exalted Venus can cause challenges for the opposite reason; too much of a good thing can be painful!

Join my Jyotish Immersion for Healing Relationships.

Friends, partners, lovers and all relationships have a lasting impact on you. Taking on a relationship means taking on someone's energy field. Does it help or hurt you? Does it help you grow or does it set you back and deplete you? Will it help you align with dharma and life goals or keep you from moving forward? Relationships can be powerfully supportive and life changing, or cause irreversible and dangerous setbacks. I have seen clients set themselves back lifetimes because they made a wrong choice in partners. However, the right partner can also move you forward  life times as well.

Picking the right relationship is the key to harmony, the flow of love and inner growth. There are some vital keys for picking a good relationship- whether friend, lover, partner, etc. Deeply listening to your body wisdom is your biggest clue. Through embodiment and somatic resourcing, you can awaken the ability to listen to your body's subtle messages. Clues and insights are always available in your first meeting or interaction. The body will always tell you if it feels safe- or not- but you must be able to hear it. Do you know how to listen and harvest from your inner wisdom?

Learning how to identify who and what a quality relationship feels like, is a life changing skill that can make or break your decisions and choices. There are people who are solid and integrated within. These people make safe, trustworthy partners. Some people are disconnected and disjointed within. These people will not be able to provide a sense of stability and safety for you. They also will not be able to change in order to become safe and solid down the road. A small percentage of these unstable people will eventually be able to change and grow enough to be safe, stable and grounded partners. Knowing what type of person you are working with is key.

A solid, safe and nourishing relationship can't happen without two people who are willing to grow and change. Not sure if you are in a relationship that can provide the growth you are looking for?

Here are four signs that your relationship is challenged. Consider these your red flags!


1) They show you or tell you that they are unavailable- physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

Often from the very beginning of the relationship, an unavailable person will give you clear signals (or even tell you directly) that they are unavailable. Are they just getting out of a previous relationship and still attached? Are they emotionally distant or detached from their body wisdom? Do they look or feel like they are far, far away? Do they use drugs and alcohol to avoid, distract or disconnect from themselves and the world?

The signs of an unavailable person are always detectable. Getting clear on what it feels like to be truly connected with an engaged, available and present person is the medicine for helping you change the pattern of picking unavailable people.


2) Imbalances with giving and receiving.

This is the most common relationship red flag I encounter with my clients. One person in the relationship is giving way more than the other person. Eventually the divide gets so wide, no one is getting their needs met and the malnourishment destroys the relationship as well as the individuals involved.

Do you feel like you give more than you receive? Why are you over-giving? Do you feel like your relationship would end if you stopped giving? Do you feel depleted or run-down in this relationship? Is your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual well-being challenged in this relationship? These are all reminders that your relationship is not balanced and the flow of Shakti is not supporting you. Something will need to change or this imbalance will seriously implications for your mind, body and spirit adversely.


3) Challenges with communication.

It goes without saying that communication sustains a relationship. Good communication brings closeness, a sense of togetherness, support, alignment and harmony. Lack of communication or poor communication can destroy a relationship faster than anything else. Good communication is a skill. Most people are not born as great communicators. It requires a willingness to learn, acquire new language and listening. Above all communication requires excellent listening abilities.

If you don't have a desire to become a good communicator, your relationships will always struggle. Pick partners who also choose to strengthen their communication and listening skills. Relationships who don't want to deepen this skill will prove more challenging than helpful. Non violent communication is an excellent resource to help you and your relationships have more harmonious dialogue. 


4) Spiritual incongruence

Most people at the beginning of a relationship overlook this warning sign. However spiritual alignment is what sustains a relationship long after the sparks fade. Without a similar world view and orientation to the universe, a relationship will not be able to deepen or hold you- especially in the most challenging of times. Spiritual alignment is vital for seeing, feeling and awakening togetherness, hope, faith and connection.

It's impossible to see perfectly eye to eye in every relationship, but spiritual alignment can go a long way to help a relationship feel more stable and lasting. Relationships that have a similar spiritual awareness will have a solid foundation. This strength will prove to be the glue through loss, grief, hardship, heartache and challenges. Spiritual congruence can't be forced. It's either there or it isn't.



Seek relationships that honor you, support you and feel safe on a deep, core level. Aligning with like minds and hearts, means that you can walk together for many years to come. Attracting solid, stable and integrated people into your life will support your growth, healing and inner wisdom. The biggest challenge is changing old beliefs, patterns and behaviors so that you can align with true nourishment. Be willing to do your healing work so that you can upgrade what you think is possible for your self and your path.


I'll be sharing more insights about how to pick quality, nourishing relationships in my Jyotish Immersion for Healing Relationships. I will also share resources and tools to help you heal, grow and awaken your inner wisdom. Learn how to deepen your self trust and listening skills!

Join my June Jyotish Immersion for Relationships.



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JUNE JYOTISH IMMERSION ~
For Healing Relationships

Wouldn't it be nice to stop falling into painful relationships
and prevent more heartbreak?!

Clarify what it takes to find a good match, how to tell if someone is solid relationship material and what the red flags are.

Determine what your relationship karma is and
how to tell what types of relationships you attract.



Get the Details


IN THIS CLASS YOU WILL LEARN:

- What is husband/wife material and how to tell if someone is a good match for you.


- Relationship markers in your Jyotish chart.
Are you able to have good relationships based on your birth karma?
What are your challenges and strengths?


- Help!! I can't find a good relationship! What am I doing wrong?


- Is my relationship doomed?
Or can my partner change for the better?


- Where and how do I find good relationship material?!


- How your trauma, grief and past relationships are impacting your ability to find a good partner.


- Resources to heal and release relationship wounds.


- Deepen your self trust and listening skills!


* This class is suitable for those with basic astrology knowledge.


Register Now


Not sure if this class is right for you? Please email me with questions.



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Moon Mind Calendar {October 12th to 16th} 

10/12/2016

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This Week's Intention: Go slow and tend to your inner stillness. Find that place within that is beyond right and wrong. Land in self love.

As the Navaratri celebration comes to completion, seek integration and inner balance. Go slow, be still and listen carefully. It is a full Moon week. Moon is waxing so your energy will naturally be pulled outward. Try to maintain your inner attention and be present to your needs. Set a very clear intention for yourself as the doors close on this sacred gap in Natural time and we enter a new cycle. Whether you're in Northern or Southern Hemisphere, this is a time of death and re-birth.

Durga is your certain death. And the rise from your own ashes. She is your re-birth. Again and again and again. Your return to the light, to life. Be like Durga. Don't be afraid to face your demons. Don't resist this battle. Surrender to it fully. Lean in towards your pain. Resistance only makes it intensify. Keep moving towards your demons. Trust that light will triumph through your efforts.


There's still time for you to join me for Awakening Through Grief. This sacred nine month journey has been created for those of you who are ready to heal through the powerful process of attending to your emotional body wisdom. Get the Details and Sign Up. This is the last Chance to Join!!


Wednesday, October 12th
Moon in 12th tithi
Dvadasi


Moon transits Aquarius and Satabisha nakshatra today. The clean up after the storm is present. The dust is settling, the anguish softening, the pain is finding meaning and purpose. This is your healing. Be still and let the wisdom land within you. Don't rush the messages. Moon conjuncts Ketu here. Sudden insights arrive, as well as sudden changes. Stay connected to your core knowing. Trust. Trust. Trust.

Venus is at the edge of Libra today, pulling you towards integration and balance. Where do you feel more harmony in your body? In your relationships? Within your relationship to Self?

Thursday, October 13th
Moon in 13th tithi
Trayodasi


Mid morning, Moon moves to Purvabhadrapada, symbolized by the front legs of a funeral cot. The end is near. Your release is inevitable. Let it go, let it release. Find all the places within you that are still holding on, gripping tightly to knowing. Surrender the answers and land closer to your inner trust.

The first major transit of the month happens in the early morning of the 13th when Venus shifts into Scorpio, the sign of mysticism, grief, transformation and death. Scorpio brings depth, darkness and experiences that go far beyond the surface of existence. As the planet of feeling, creativity and relationships moves through this vulnerable sign, it touches the planet of grief, Saturn, directly through exact conjunction. This is a cycle of releasing, purging and emptying emotions on every level! The emotional body will feel especially vulnerable in the weeks to come, so honor your sensitivity with brave authenticity.

Read more about Venus in Scorpio

Friday, October 14th
Moon in 14th tithi
Chaturdashi


As Friday begins, Moon arrives in the last sign of the zodiac, Pisces, finding completion for this cycle. Fiery Mars gives his gaze, as does Jupiter, Sun and Mercury. The Moon will feel the intense need for release, but struggles to let go simultaneously. Where are you still gripping and resisting this process? What emotions are stuck, stagnant and undigested? Moon transits the latter half of the Bhadrapada constellation today, symbolized by the back legs of the funeral cot. Extract meaning and understanding from your journey and all that has been moving through you. Land in the soft, gentle waves of your emotional body. Stand in your emotional tide pools and find simple pleasure and awe in your magnificence.

Saturday, October 15th
Moon in 15th tithi
Purnima


Early morning, Moon moves to the final constellation of the zodiac, Revati. Deep release is taking place. The silence will be palpable. Attend to this sacred moment with reverence and respect. Honor your needs for release and attend to your grief consciously. This is not a time to push past or numb the emotional body wisdom available right now.

The October full Moon on the 15th creates a remarkable vulnerability with Moon in a very delicate gap point between Pisces and Aries. At 22:23, the fullness of the Moon arrives at the edge of Pisces, just past 29 degrees. The portal between endings and beginnings is activated, awake, alive. Pure vulnerability is provoked at this time, while simultaneously ushering in mystical and spiritual power. The Pisces/Aries gandanta (gap) is particularly challenging as Moon shifts from water into fire, release and liberation into hope and possibility. Pisces is also connected to the ancestors and endings, while Aries brings a young, new energy with it. This full Moon provokes the energy of closure and awakening to the new. What are you opening to? What are you closing to?

Moon will be transiting Revati nakshatra at the time of the Full Moon, the final lunar constellation of the zodiac. Pushan rules this portion of the sky, bringing fruitful journeys and resources for your travels.

Read more about the October Full Moon

Join me for a *free* Full Moon Grief Ritual this Sunday, October 16th. Get the details and sign up!

Sunday, October 16th
Moon in 1st tithi
Pratipad


Just as Sunday begins, Moon leaps into Aries, jump starting a new cycle and fresh starts. Open doors, require that you attend to the closing of doors as well. How are you honoring this process of release and letting go? Moon moves through the challenging gandanta (gap) between endings and beginnings today, which enlivens uncertainty, confusion, and vulnerability. The emotional body is fragile, porous and requires your presence. How can you honor your emotional body with intention today? Rahu gives his gaze which shadows the emotional body and invites extra confusion as Moon moves through Ashwini nakshatra. This is a time to rejuvenate and tend to self care diligently. Late evening, Moon arrives in Bharani. Yama requires your restraint. Keep it simple and clarify your needs.

Sun shifts to its debilitation sign for the coming weeks on the 16th at 18:38. As he arrives in Libra, a softening of the masculine arrives. This often brings discomfort and disappointment from relationships. The masculine will be less available, less assertive and less present as a result of this transit. Notice your own relationship with your soft masculine. Are you resisting it or allowing it? This Sun cycle provokes a need for greater self awareness and understanding of the masculine.

Read more about Sun in Libra

Monday, October 17th
Moon in 2nd tithi
Dvitiya


Moon continues to move through Bharani nakshatra. Look closely at your resistance today. There's a certain push back to getting your needs met, to honoring nourishment. What is the root of this resistance? Look closely at your needs and how they are not getting honored or supported. You are the cause of these unmet needs. You say you want it, but simultaneously aren't allowing the nourishment to arrive. Look closely at your fear of love, safety, holding and connection that you so deeply crave. Why are you saying no to what you so desperately yearn for?  Late afternoon, Moon shifts to Krittika nakshatra. Transformation is arriving. The alchemy of change is taking place. Surrender to the process.

* Timing used is Mountain Daylight Time.


Join me for a *free* Full Moon Grief Ritual this Sunday, October 16th. Get the details and sign up!


There's still time for you to join me for Awakening Through Grief.
This sacred nine month journey has been created for those of you who are ready to heal through the powerful process of attending to your emotional body wisdom. Get the Details and Sign Up. This is the last Chance to Join!!

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October Transits*

10/5/2016

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* Please note that horoscopes for October have been delayed. I'm needing more rest and silence this month. Horoscopes will resume in November. Thank you for your patience.

As the Moon shifts into the first tithi (Moon phase) early evening on October 1st, the sacred ten day and night celebration of Shardiya Maha Navaratri begins. Nava means nine and ratri means night in Sanskrit. Each day and night of this powerful junction point, correlates to the epic battle between the goddess Sri Devi Mahatmyam and the demon Mahishasura. Maha Devi Mahatmyam is connected to both Durga and Shakti, powerful forms of divine feminine energy that awaken, clear, transform and heal. Sri Devi is understood to be the supreme creation power of the universe, the Tridevi, or triple goddess, as she expresses the creation, sustaining and destructive energies that perpetuate all forms of life. This is the most powerful time in the Vedic Calendar.

Read more about Navaratri

Venus in Scorpio

The first major transit of the month happens in the early morning of the 13th when Venus shifts into Scorpio, the sign of mysticism, grief, transformation and death. Scorpio brings depth, darkness and experiences that go far beyond the surface of existence. As the planet of feeling, creativity and relationships moves through this vulnerable sign, it touches the planet of grief, Saturn, directly through exact conjunction. This is a cycle of releasing, purging and emptying emotions on every level! The emotional body will feel especially vulnerable in the weeks to come, so honor your sensitivity with brave authenticity. Allow yourself to empty and let go of stagnant emotions, undigested emotions. You have the opportunity to create space for something new to arrive in the coming months, but not without this vital release process taking place.

Grief is stirred in the heart due to relationship disappointments and parts of you that have been neglected and malnourished. Relationships are fragile and yet awakening, however watch for trauma and sudden release. Purging the emotional body will be non-negotiable. Use clarity in communication to address challenges head on. Use this time as a way to clarify your needs and speak them directly. There's a tendency to avoid the real issues right now and stay in the shadows. Keep things as simple, clear and direct as possible. Speak the sweet, honest truth.

Full Moon In Pisces


The October full Moon on the 15th creates a remarkable vulnerability with Moon in a very delicate gap point between Pisces and Aries. At 22:23, the fullness of the Moon arrives at the edge of Pisces, just past 29 degrees. The portal between endings and beginnings is activated, awake, alive. Pure vulnerability is provoked at this time, while simultaneously ushering in mystical and spiritual power. The Pisces/Aries gandanta (gap) is particularly challenging as Moon shifts from water into fire, release and liberation into hope and possibility. Pisces is also connected to the ancestors and endings, while Aries brings a young, new energy with it. This full Moon provokes the energy of closure and awakening to the new. What are you opening to? What are you closing to?

Moon will be transiting Revati nakshatra at the time of the Full Moon, the final lunar constellation of the zodiac. Pushan rules this portion of the sky, bringing fruitful journeys and resources for your travels.

Read more about the full Moon in Pisces

Sun in Libra


Sun shifts to its debilitation sign for the coming weeks on the 16th at 18:38. As he arrives in Libra, a softening of the masculine arrives. This often brings discomfort and disappointment from relationships. The masculine will be less available, less assertive and less present as a result of this transit. Notice your own relationship with your soft masculine. Are you resisting it or allowing it?

This Sun cycle provokes a need for greater self awareness and understanding of the masculine. It's a time of deepening relationships- but not through strength and power. As Sun moves through the sign of relationship and balance, it will request you look more deeply at your vulnerability and your resistance to being held, supported and honored. This is a request for integration between masculine and feminine energies. There is a certain awakening taking place right now through balance and harmony. Trust this process.

There's also an opportunity for relationships to be your guru, a powerful teacher. This requires your willingness to look at your relationship with the masculine more closely; your inner masculine, as well as the masculine mirrors arriving to teach you. What do you need for greater support and holding? What is working and what is challenging you? How can you begin to use thoughtful communication as a way to get your needs met more fully? Keep leaning in closer to this question: What do I need to feel safe and supported?

The coming month requires your willingness to look at your darkness and the depth of your pain. It's a time to pull up your biggest wounding from past relationships, the grief that has been undigested, and fully honor it. Your resistance to your pain is costing you your deepest nourishment. Be soft and gentle as well as fierce and determined. Move closer to your inner fears, not further away from them. If it scares you, it's worth looking closer. Why are you afraid of your own power source?

Mercury in Libra

Airy planet Mercury moves to air sign Libra just as October 22nd arrives, joining debilitated Sun here as well. Mercury will be in Libra until November 8th, about 18 days. He will be moving through a tight conjunction with the Sun during this transit, sharpening the mind with the experience of a soft Masculine presence. Ketu gives his gaze to both planets, sparking sudden release and flashes of insight as well as awakening through loss. Ruling planets of Libra are Venus (own sign) and Saturn (sign of exaltation). Both planets are moving through the powerfully transformational sign of Scorpio right now, supporting release of subconscious material and provoking shadow work to the surface. The deeper your willingness to release, the more space and availability you'll have for the connection, creativity and harmony you are seeking this month.

Libra being the planet of relationship, connection and balance, supports the communication and connection tendencies of Mercury. They are great friends. This bodes well for communication of all sorts and can support connection, relationship and co-creation in the weeks ahead.

Simultaneously it is also a cycle of releasing deep emotions, toxic and aggressive tendencies and finding a softer, gentler way of expressing. Moon will be in the harsh nakshatra of Ardra at the time of this transit, stirring big emotions. This cycle will activate mental and emotional body stories that are hurtful and painful, bringing them to the surface for you to look at more directly. As challenges rise to the conscious mind and become visible, it's also an opportunity to work with them and help them release. Rather then getting stuck in the painful process and old mythology, try to use it as a resource for change and transformation. Seek balance between your light and dark parts. This will support more integration between masculine and feminine- the relationship with self and your relationship with others.

Mars in Capricorn

On October 31st at 20:35 MDT, Mars moves to his exaltation sign, Capricorn, until December 11th. This begins many fiery days ahead, with potent action oriented expression, as the warrior planet steps into his most powerful sign. There is much movement in the weeks ahead. The intention and driving force is nourishment and attaining the nectar of life. However, this process must be done with balance and attention to integration and harmony. If there is imbalance within physical, mental, emotional or spiritual bodies, challenges, pain and hardship will arrive. Suffering is optional. Pay close attention to your inner aggression and force. At the same time, notice where you are resisting the nourishment you crave. 

Gains come when you honor your dark, hidden desires. Lean into your fear more closely. Align with this resistance and keep moving closer to your pain. Keep peeling back layer by layer, to expose your needs more fully. Without moving closer to your terror, you are missing out on the deep nourishment and satisfaction you crave.

The heart seeks stability, grounding and focus. It needs integration, balance and co-creation. It wants to heal old pain and darkness. It wants your hidden grief to come to the light. Will you lean closer to it, in order for it to touch your conscious awareness? You want depth and pleasure, connection and pure relationship. How will you connect with this feeling unless your your heart is pure? Purify, clarify, release all that is stagnant within the chambers of your heart. Seek receptivity, openness and more life force energy. As you clean and clear, release and liberate yourself, an immense power can be released from within. Channel this power in effective and dharmic ways in order for maximum gains. .

Did you miss my *free* Class? Use this resource to navigate Grief, Loss and Big Emotions. Listen Now


Need more support navigating your inner terrain and emotional body landscape? Let's connect for a session. Together we can create a plan of action for you.
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