My Story of Lack + Podcast.

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Do you ever catch yourself feeling like "it's not enough" on some level of your life?

It might show up as not enough money, not enough time, resources, support or love. Perhaps you feel you are not enough- in your relationships, as a parent, with family or at your job.

This story of lack, of scarcity, is carried by almost everyone. It shows up in many different ways- affecting your ability to receive the nourishment you need and locking you into a highly critical personal narrative that emerges to undermine your sense of safety and support. You probably feel yourself doing more as a result. Doing more work, putting in more time, feeling depleted in the process. Yet, no matter what you do, you never seem get ahead or conquer this feeling of "it's not enough".

The story "it's never enough" is a powerful force- one that will keep you stuck in cycles of malnourishment, instability and co-dependency.

Like every human being, your ancestral legacy is handed down to you and your story of scarcity is no different. The patterns, behaviors and experiences that were shared with you epigenetically (or energetically), imprinted your being. Your familial stories hardwired you for making certain choices, having certain behaviors and activated likes and dislikes.

My story of scarcity began before I was born. I entered a life where my needs could not be met fully. There was not a feeling of safety and support often nor immense happiness and joy surrounding my birth. I arrived to a mother who was already depleted- taking care of another small child and a partner who was struggling on a variety of levels. My mother's own story of lack had multiplied and taking care of yet another person with needs, I imagine, felt overwhelming to her.

When my father died suddenly just after my first birthday, the lack intensified within me. The immense shock, grief and trauma surrounding his death, undermined my ability to feel worthy or supported. In fact, this woundology that I've carried about not being "enough" for my father to stay on the planet, has impacted me greatly.

Three years ago my mother passed suddenly and left me with heart wrenching grief. I spent my entire life trying to be "enough" for her and yet again I was not "enough" on some level to keep her here on the planet.

Of course on the conscious level, I know this story doesn't make sense, but my unconscious terrain has perpetuated a very shadowed story of "not being enough" as I am. This "not enough" story has been a powerful force that has undermined my ability to feel safe, supported and loved.

As I continue to explore the territory of my personal mythology and allow my grief to be a healing force in my inner awakening, life has dramatically shifted. Understanding the nuances of my early childhood experiences and how they have sabotaged and undermined my ability to feel safe, supported, grounded or even willing to stay rooted in my body, has been vital for my recovery process.

My story of lack has directly impacted my finances. This ability to feel safe and supported, or to make choices that support further stability, has been directly connected to money.

In fact, your relationship with money is always going to mirror to you what your biggest needs are. Where you are stuck in lack, scarcity or "not being enough".

Pause here and notice.

What is your story with money?

Do you always struggle to make ends meet?

Are you able to make money, but just can't seem to keep it or save it?

Is there plenty of money, but still a sense of depletion and malnourishment anyway?

Is your financial stability intimately connected to someone else taking care of you?

Notice how your story with money is connected to not feeling like you're "enough" on some level of your life.

How does your money story connect with your story of lack in other areas of your life?

The fact is they are intimately connected. Wherever you are not feeling "enough" within yourself, this will be mirrored to you within your finances.

These old stories and wounds can be re-patterned, changed, healed and transformed. In fact, for the last five years, I've dedicated my efforts to deepening my experience of support and stability- both inner and outer. The massive instability I've experienced, has forced this need to intensify and has activated deeper desires for a sense of grounding.

Fortunately my embodiment resources and tools have been a powerful way for me to deepen my relationship with stability and support, changing my story in positive ways. I am happy to share that how I work with my instability is very different these days! My choices are radically different- which means I no longer create the immense instability I used to, nor am I attracting it to myself. I'm also very conscious of the instability when and if it arrives- so I can use it as a resource for deepening my inner change.

Metaphorically, the legs and feet are your grounding and stabilizing resources within the body.

Legs and feet are connected to the 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th houses of the jyotish chart- or Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces as well. The planets connected to these houses and signs can be important resources which may offer you a road map to re-patterning your relationship with stability and support. Use your jyotish chart as a resource for understanding your scarcity, lack and instability story.

The process of sustainable and lasting change begins within. It begins with the body, with sensation, with slow steps that move you closer to the feeling of being steady and grounded.

When the feelings of instability have been where your focus and attention has been for so many years, it requires diligence and "retraining" in order to strengthen and clarify the feeling of stability instead.

The wisdom of somatics and embodiment training are gentle, yet powerful resources for creating lasting inner change.

Join me June 26th for an embodied approach to creating abundance.

Change your story of scarcity and create more wealth- in an embodied way.

Learn resources to re-pattern your story of lack and scarcity using the wisdom of the body, jyotish and creativity.

Get the Class Details

Last chance to register is June 24th!

See you in class and please share your experiences below!

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From Scarcity to Abundance Tapping Meditation

The tapping meditation above is your first step in identifying and moving your scarcity story. Share your experiences and questions below.