In many ways I haven't been fully honest or truthful with you, my full, authentic self. I share a lot of resources for empowerment, self development and life improvement because I believe strongly that life is about growth, change and transformation. Resources are necessary, vital, in order to open new pathways of healing.
The resources I share with my clients are very powerful. I use them myself and have heard countless stories from clients who have had remarkable shifts and life changing results. I know the power of the resources and tools that I use and.....I'm also struggling.
Yes, I have resources that work, and I am also still facing challenges. I am struggling with loss, with lifelong grief, with parts of my life that can't be reconciled.
Several months ago I realize that the only way to reconcile with the losses I've endured, is to reconcile with the fact that I won't be able to reconcile with them. This actually gave me some relief. I'm working through a lot of pain, and it's important that I'm honest about this because it shapes the work that I offer, the tools I share, the guidance I give.
Recently I've started to recognize an important thread with my work. The clients that are showing up for sessions, are in fact moving through grief just like me. In many ways their stories mirror my own. Not surprising really because this is the path of Dharma.
If you are fully paying attention on your dharmic path, you will notice that there's always overlap between your own process and the process of those you are supporting and serving.
These are the dharmic teachings that I offer and continue to experience on my own path. Not surprisingly, it is showing up to remind me that grief is part of my dharmic work. I must not neglect this part of my story, this part of my struggle, this part of by ongoing day-to-day experience in life.
This past weekend, I attended another community grief ritual and peeled back another layer of my grief, found more release and faced more of my shadow. I consider this brave and courageous work. Necessary work.
The truth is, when you work with your grief as a resource, it becomes highly transformational. Working with your grief can heal you, your family members, ancestral line and the world at large. When inner suffering is not addressed and confronted, it becomes a toxic residue with lasting impact on yourself and others. This toxicity will be passed on to others, including future generations.
I know many of you are moving through grief consciously or unconsciously, and struggling to use it as a resource for awakening. The reality is that everyone has a grief story- whether it's acute, whether it's familial, ancestral or simply the accumulation of life losses.
Using grief as a resource for change is a powerful transformational ally. My healing work includes working with loss, grief, suffering, struggle and the shadow because I know the importance this has on ones ability to grow.
In the coming days, I'll be sharing more about the shadow, about struggle and how to work with your inner darkness more intimately. Be sure to sign up for my *free* Full Moon Creative Ritual class for extra resources. Join the List.
Grief is a part of the shadow. It is a resource that can bring more light, but is extremely challenging to work with. It's delicate and intimately vulnerable and yet it undeniably shapes us. It gives opportunity for awakening- if we use it very consciously. Yet some of the pain, some of the residue of loss will remain, irregardless of the tools, the resources, and the work that we do to heal.
Call it the karma of being in a human body or call it the purpose of grief, or both. It is here with us on this journey. Life and grief go hand in hand.
The simple fact, for example, that you're loved one will not return, will not ever come back, or be in a human body again, is a part of the grief process that is most challenging. How to reconcile with this reality? How to mend a broken heart that can't be repaired? Is it even possible with this type of loss?
In one's jyotish chart, Ketu is responsible for causing cracks in the being. These cracks can ultimately be places where more light can enter, more awareness, more vision, clarity or new options and possibilities. Ketu can also represent trauma points in the being- mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually- depending on what he touches. He disrupts, restructures, creates forced release, and ultimately liberation. But he will always leave a scar, the scar of his loss.
How do you work with the scar of loss? How can you use it consciously for healing, awakening and growth? Rather than contracting, closing, avoiding, shutting down or becoming frozen?
It's possible to move forward. It's possible to reshape, to re-create, then reshape some more. It's possible to use the emptiness as a resource for delicately, intimately filling it with sacred intentional actions, choices, experiences, relationships. And yet there will always be a hole.
The real question becomes: how to reconcile with the hole- the hole in your heart. How to very consciously and intentionally tend to this hole, this vulnerable, tender wound. That's where my resources can support you. That's where consistent guidance, vigilance, willingness, inner resourcing and group support can be invaluable.
As we move through this eclipse portal in the coming days, you will be forced to face your shadows in more intimate ways. Everyone- conscious or not- will be touched by the shadow in unique ways, depending on their their own chart. Read more about the specifics for each sign in my Waxing Moon Horoscopes. Do you have a membership yet?
I'll be sharing extra resources guidance and support during this eclipse portal, knowing that everyone is going to be challenged and provoked in ways that will be uncomfortable. Even in the discomfort, try to remind yourself that there is choice. Choice in your response. Choice in your actions. Choice in how you choose to move forward with your one precious life.
Do you show up fully or turn your back on emotions, stories, messages, pains and struggles? How do you honor your grief with consciousness?
If you're ready for guidance and resources, I am here to support your journey and process of transformation. Ask me about my personal sessions.
How to mend a broken heart while tending to your grief:
- Go slow and take sacred pauses with deep breaths.
- Lean into your vulnerability.
- Remove the masks that keep you pretending.
- Allow emotions to rise, to swell, to move through you, to move you.
- Use movement as a support, as a resource for containment and release.
- Get embodied. Stay in the body as much as you can.
- Use sensation as a resource for continual arriving.
- Be honest with yourself and others.
- Communicate your needs clearly.
- Ask for tenderness, ask for support, ask for your needs to be met.
- If it doesn't work for you, honor this and let it go.
- You have changed. Start acknowledging this concretely. Remind others you are not the same person anymore if necessary.
- Let go of old expectations you've had for yourself, for others.
- Reach out for new resources. Your needs are different now, you'll need different resources as well.
- Go slow and take sacred pauses with deep breaths.
Join me for a *free* Creative Ritual class on Sunday, March 20th in honor of the full Moon, eclipse portal and Holi celebrations. Gather resources to find deeper emotional release and opening for the cycle ahead. Join the List
Ready to start 2016 off with clarity and purpose? I am now booking April sessions. Let's connect!